When I was young, I thought Don Quixote was actually ‘donkey hoti.’ It took me a long time to figure that out.
We’re balls deep in the film. I don’t really know why I’m here. There never seems to be anything for me to do, and certainly nothing for me to do that someone else couldn’t easily do. When they’re so concerned about being conservative with the number of people on set, or staying on location, I keep expecting to hear they don’t want me back.
It’s not like anyone else does.
I probably need to raise my standards. Putting out on the first date rarely works as planned and when it pans out ‘for the better,’ it’s usually not someone with whom I want it to pan out anyway. I’m not surprised the communication is scarce. Although, I don’t really understand why it is either.
It’s funny how I can so easily get caught up in someone about whom I was previously ambivalent… The moment they don’t give me the attention I crave, I get upset and withdrawn and depressed. Just please don’t say you’ll email me and then forget to, or choose not to; the truth is I’ll be frantically checking it for years.
Ran across this article on ForeignPolicy.com a few days ago. It’s about the intersection of sex and espionage. I think it’s kinda cool.
Two things jump out at me:
1. ”Honey Trap.” They use it to describe the traps people fall into because of sex. But HONEY TRAP?! Seriously? Is this 70s porn lingo? It just feels so dirty. Don’t believe me? Say it aloud.
Aaand go.
…Now you wish you could wash your brain right? And they keep using that term over and over through the article! It’s a derivation of the term “honey pot” as a euphemism for vagina, which they also use in the article.
This is a honey pot:
Need I say more?
2. Second, much of the article deals w/ people who gave up state secrets or other important information for sex. So here’s the question:Is it trickin?
I’m one of those people who thinks giving up money purely for sex is trickin (even if you got it). I don’t know, for me it’s the principle of it. But if somebody you’re messing with gets you to give up nuclear secrets right after (or before) some head does that count?
On one hand, they’re definitely manipulating you. But on the other hand, how could you possibly know that s/he is trying to take you for your nuclear secrets? When somebody wants your money you kinda know it. It’s hard for it to be unclear. And you know exactly what you’re losing. Giving up nuclear secrets is a little more unclear. Maybe s/he just wants to feel trusted, and it’s perfectly innocuous. But then, maybe it’s a “honey trap” and they wanna steal nukes and blow shit up. Then thousands–even millions–of people could die, and you’re definitely getting fired from your secret nuclear job.
Things to think about right?
Finally, if you’ve ever come out on the bottom (no pun intended) of a sexual experience just be glad you’ve never:
Been lured to a foreign country for a romantic weekend, then gotten arrested and jailed.
Been falsely accused of setting multiple “honey traps” when you were really just kinda…being slutty. Then being executed for it.
Had you career/credibility destroyed by an alleged honey trap that probably never existed. All because the media sensationalized it.
or Been a closeted gay man who got blackmailed into becoming a double agent, became an alcoholic, then died when you fell one day while you were drunk.
I remember watching Love Me, Love My Doll around this time last year when I interned at Vice. I’m not sure why I was told to watch it, but I remember it being interesting and I randomly felt the urge to watch it again. It’s a documentary about men who share their lives with Real Dolls, which are life-sized dolls that look and feel similar to actual women. Everything about them is customizable, including cup size and pubic hair. They cost several thousands of dollars. They’re anatomically correct in the way that no doubt matters most – they have vaginas. That you can fuck. They’re sex dolls, basically. But to the owners featured in this movie, they’re more than that – they’re companions who are often treated with the utmost love and care. A strange yet seemingly genuine emotional bond ties these men to their dolls, kind of like the one depicted in Lars and the Real Girl, although, big surprise, these men are no Ryan Gosling.
Many of them believe they are incapable of meeting human women (for whatever reason, be it their looks or their social awkwardness) and have settled for synthetic versions. As crazy as that seems, this might seem a little crazier – I think I understand these men. I refuse to judge them. Yes, it’s bizarre to watch them shop for skimpy outfits for their dolls, it’s off-putting to view them delicately apply makeup to inanimate eyelids and lips and it’s certainly uncommon to see a grown man admiringly looking into a doll’s eyes and whispering, “I love you.” You will see all that and more in this movie. It’s kind of fascinating.
This is the closest thing to ‘love’ these men have ever experienced. It’s not socially acceptable, but somehow, it’s real. Some of the men realize that a doll could never provide the companionship and affection that a real woman could; others simply don’t care. They communicate with their dolls in their own way and appear to believe it to be reciprocal. They seem to realize that deep down, this is totally weird – but they’re still happy. And more importantly, they aren’t as lonely. One could probably argue that for some, spending a lifetime alone may be more psychologically damaging than having a relationship with a doll that looks exactly like a woman (well, a woman with a perfect, unattainable body).
Here’s a screen grab of a doll’s vagina. It’s OK, I was curious too.
-Melissa
P.S. If I didn’t embed the video properly, which is possible because I’m an idiot, click here. It really is interesting.
I really should name him something else but when we were lying in bed and I told him about it he giggled so it’ll stick cause he usually pisses me off 90% of the time. Man whore couldn’t make it on Friday night for a very legitimate reason, so I had a back up plan. Mr. Jackass. I really didn’t think he would come either. In fact I had just started a movie when he texted and said he was on his way. Bless his heart he even knew if man whore said yes he’d get bumped lol and he still came. I think he was desperate for some sex. Hey I don’t care, so was I lol
We have a 45 minute drive to each other’s houses so it’s a bit of a haul. However it’s always so cute with him. He’s so intimate. Exact opposite of man whore sex. And exactly what I was craving. Every time we see each other there’s a “hi” and then boom, off to make out! He’s a good kisser, I won’t deny him that. Very good. He doesn’t get me all soaking wet with his tongue and knows just the right balance to use. I tried to have a little conversation first but I could tell by the way he walked in there would be none of that lol. It was his first time to my house so I actually wavered a little bit before I decided what to wear. Went with a silky nightie thing that I feel totally absurd in but he said “nice choice” so I must have done well. Next time he comes he gets sweats and a t shirt lmao. When I go to his house he’s always in shorts and a t shirt so I think it’s only fair.
Now the thing with Mr. Jackass that keeps me going back for more is he’s so incredibly in to cuddling and rubbing and making out and just being intimate. Which I do not get in a lot of places. I mean my husband will but not when sex is involved. Mr. Jackass has that kind of sex where he lays right on top of me while he’s in me and holds his arms around me. That is completely hot. That’s enough to make me look past the fact that he doesn’t know how to pick up a phone and say hello until he’s alone lol
The other thing I find completely cute about him is the fact he’s so innocent about sex. He hasn’t done a lot, he hasn’t been around a lot, and he is just so out of his norm by having sex with me that it’s a turn on. In fact I had him use my glass on me and I could instantly tell he didn’t know what he was doing so with some questioning found out he’s never used a dildo or toy of any kind on a woman. I was in shock. And at this point I thought well gosh I hope I don’t freak him out. Here I am handing him my favorite glass dildo, and I’m using a bullet on my clit and he’s probably thinking “holy fuck what do I do?” hahaha it was great. And he gets this little tone when you try and give him guidance that is just adorable. I can’t tell if he’s annoyed I’m bossing him around or if he’s nervous. I asked and he said he doesn’t mind that I tell him what to do and show him so I don’t know what the change in his voice tone is but it’s absolutely adorable. He’s not used to changing things up in bed, he’s just used to routine and so I made sure we had some variety in there for him. Started with a blow job for him to get the quick shot out of the way, then he had to get me off twice (I even told him it had to be twice lol), and then he could have some sex. And he felt awesome during the sex too. I wish he was louder. I always have to kind of guess when he’s coming because he’s so damn quiet but I can usually figure it out. Would be way hot if he would make some noise. He’s started making noise during his blow jobs for me, but it doesn’t seem to carry over to when we’re having sex. And he always hops off so damn fast after he cums it’s like you hit a button and he must. move. now. lol I think he hates having a condom on. Or hell if I know what the immediate rush to remove the condom is all about. He always tries to sneak it in without a condom like I’m not going to notice lol So I don’t think he’s a huge fan of them.
Then we had some fabulous pillow talk and cuddle time and for a change I got to fall asleep in my own bed. He left me nice and sleepy and I slept like a baby and didn’t even wait up to see if he made it all the way home. It was great. He’s invited me to go away with him on a work trip in April and I doubt that it happens but it’d be nice if it did. Spoke with the husband in case and he’d be happy to stay home with the kids while I went so it’d be nice if it did happen. We’ll see.
But finally I got the intimacy that I’ve been needing. Very nice. And I’ll be a little nicer to him for a few weeks now because of it lol well until he acts like a jackass again and starts pissing me off
I love this dessert; it’s very easy and yummy. Even the kids love it!
Caramelized pears and plums
Serves 2
2 pears (Bosc type)
1 plum
a touch of rum (optional)
1/2 T raisins
brown sugar
cinnamon * (1/2 tsp)
touch of ginger* (or as desire)
dash of salt
butter
Cut the pears in half to clean, remove also the stem. Cut in quarters.
Same with the plum.
Preheat a medium saute pan on medium-high.
Throw some butter in. Then the pears and plum. Move around.
Add the rum. Let reduce. Add the raisins, sugar, cinnamon, salt and ginger.
Keep moving around and let caramelize.
Serve with vanilla ice cream.
Kitchen notes:
Ginger is a powerful root, good for luck, healing and sex magick.
Cinnamon has been used to attract the favor of the gods and goddesses. Use it to get money and be successful.
I just ask that one time a man has to sit through a gyno exam… not one where he’s expecting a child or sitting with a sick wife but just a random gyno exam with his girlfriend. Awkward, uncomfortable, unpleasant… just a few words to describe those moments you are sitting on a table with your legs spread, hoisted into said awkward position via stirrups.
Oh what? Don’t even try to tell me turning your head and coughing while having your balls fondled is anywhere near comparable… my boyfriend would have me do that to him everyday if he could. It’s like a dentist appointment except your staring at the ceiling while a pair of latex fingers are inserted inside of you while you try to make small talk…. at least at the dentist you can’t talk. At least at the dentist you don’t have to change your clothes. At least at the dentist it’s THE DENTIST.
Going to the gyno is irritating…. and it’s necessary. In this day and age if you are sexually active and don’t go, you are an idiot. IDIOT. Condoms are not full proof. I’m not even just talking about pregnancy or aids… herpes, genital warts- all can be passed by skin contact outside of the rubber.
Alright… enough of my PSA. I just don’t think men will ever comprehend or relate to a trip to the gyno.
Maybe a prostate exam but that doesn’t happen until they are 50+. Try dealing with that at least once every year since you were 18-20
Charity must begin at home, because one cannot count on it beginning at church. Perhaps I should say, one cannot count on charity beginning at the Roman Catholic Church. Not if one is gay. You may recall that, in November 2009, the city of Washington D.C. passed a law recognizing gay marriages, a law that was opposed immediately by the city’s Catholic Archdiocese. An objection raised at the time was this:
Under the bill…religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.
Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.
It didn’t take long for Catholic Charities to devise a solution to this dilemma (and keep government funds flowing their way): as of March 2, 2010, employees of Catholic Charities are not allowed to add spouses to their health insurance plans. This applies to the spouses of straight and gay employees alike. Since the charitable organization can’t blatantly provide benefits to one group (straights) and deny said benefits to the other (gays), it will simply deny said benefits to all of them. Equal opportunity exclusion. Because that’s what Jesus would do.
The policy applies to new employees enrolling for benefits after March 2; spouses covered before that date will retain their benefits. The group explained its decision in a memo:
We sincerely regret that we have to make this change, but it is necessary to allow Catholic Charities to continue to provide essential services to the clients we serve in partnership with the District of Columbia while remaining consistent with the tenets of our religious faith.
The tenets of their religious faith. Those include tenets allowing the Church to shelter priests who rape children and shuffle those rapacious predators from one traumatized diocese to another unsuspecting diocese, to another, and another ad infinitum. They include tenets allowing the Church to purchase abuse victims’ silence, or, when that fails, pay them large financial sums in legal settlements. They include tenets allowing Church leaders to lie to millions of African AIDS victims about the efficacy of condoms in reducing the spread of that dreadful disease. And they also include tenets that oppose the rights of men and women to control their reproduction via contraception and abortion. Do you look at those tenets and see anything worth preserving? I sure as hell don’t. If you agree with me and you want to donate some time or money to a charity, you may want to consider giving to a secular charitable group. Contrary to the myth that many fundogelicals are peddling (along with the rest of their bullshit), churches are not the only charitable organizations in town, and Christians are not the only people who give time and money to their communities.
For this atheist, charity must begin at home because religious charity often comes with strings attached. And if those strings can’t be attached, then some groups (like Catholic Charities) cut off both the strings and the gifts. Their thinking seems to be that ’tis far better that no one get anything at all than that some of the wrong people get a little bit of something from them. That may be the Catholic Charities way; it certainly is not my way.
2. Second, much of the article deals w/ people who gave up state secrets or other important information for sex. So here’s the question:Is it trickin?![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=115c910f-134a-4b9a-b91c-4188a17f166b)
