In an unusually honest and disgustingly accurate the House Republican Leader said
"Our Goal Is To Bring Down Approval Numbers For The Democrats."
No real surprises there eh! The upper etalon of the once respectable Republican party absolutely no regard left for this wonderful country. They don’t even put on the pretense of acting in the best interest of the nation. Their ONLY interest is feeding their hatred, bigotry and greed.
Every once in a while you need to hear- from another woman, and not your man- that you’ve got some work to do in the “get real” category. Us womenfolk can sometimes confuse our wants for our needs, so I’m going to try and sort a few of these out- hopefully it’ll make you think and you’ll be able to take it a step further in your own life and identify things that you think you want vs things you probably aren’t aware you need. Doing so, I think, will make you a better woman- it’ll also make you better in your relationship. So here goes:
3. Poetry vs “Real Talk” Many women think they want their man to “talk pretty” to them- say deep, meaningful and poetic things in a way that no other man has before, in a way that makes our hearts flutter, our minds become befuddled and that place between our thighs throb a little bit. Of course it’s nice to hear lovely words from our men- but in reality, we aren’t going to hear that stuff all the time, and we don’t want to, because it’s not realistic. What we as women need is for men to keep it real and honest- that’s it. That’s not to say we want our feelings hurt, of course not, there is a place for tact in all of this- but we need that real talk from our men more than anything. The truth of the matter is we don’t give men enough credit when the do “keep it real” because we’re sensitive beings, our feelings often hurt easily and that causes us to rebuke whatever has been said to us- but that doesn’t help keep the lines of communication between the sexes open either.
So we have to find that balance, and as women, it’s incumbent upon us to do that extra work when our man is giving it to us until we scream his name and speak in tongues real. We have to listen; men are talking, we’re just selective in what we’re allowing ourselves to hear.
2. Know Your Role I can feel some of you getting riled up over this one, but take a breath and be open. I’m not saying you have to be barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen all the time, unless of course you want to be- but women do have a role to play when in a relationship- especially with a brotha. We can empower our men or we can make them want to choke the shit outta us belittle them with our biting sarcasm.
Women these days are too hard, I’ll just say it. Men don’t want a woman that acts like a dude, or talks like one for that matter. I certainly am guilty of letting the f-bomb fly, but around my man I only use it when I’m bent over the counter begging him to fuck me harder I’ve burnt dinner.
We are nurturers ladies. Try nurturing your man and see how his appreciation for you grows in leaps and bounds.
1. Making love- or making toes curl Again, ladies, you all have some work to do in this area. It goes hand in hand with number 3 on this list. Too many women think about sex in terms of soap opera love scenes; candles, satin sheets, tender words to your ear before he takes you in his arms and makes love to you all night. *yawn* Let’s get real.
There is a time and place for making love. I truly believe that while men are fully capable of it, they can’t do it all the time- it takes a build up of emotion for a man to make love to a woman- but he can fuck her any time, any day.
Ladies, you need to sharpen your fucking skills. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting this so that you can increase his sexual satisfaction, I’m suggesting it so you can increase your sexual satisfaction. If what you do on the counter on the dryer bent over the couch in the back of the car on the kitchen floor in the shower in bed you learned from the bible- you’re failing your man and yourself.
If all you know is missionary, you’re wasting a perfectly good sex life.
If you don’t give head you should be ashamed of yourself.
If you won’t let him talk dirty to you- best believe he’s feeling cheated out of a full sexual experience.
If sex is controlled- you’re just not doing it right. The best sex happens when you let go of everything rational and grab onto pleasure- follow the pleasure. Only do what feels good.
If you need help, then about 45 minutes before your man comes home, have three shots of whiskey a nice glass of wine and entice yourself. When he walks through the door, pounce.
Role play, dress up, speak with an accent, take control, make sex fun, and make it nasty. It’s ironic, but if you want your man to experience orgasmic pleasure (which is not the same as cumming) then you get on that dick and fuck his brains out- he’ll forget his name instantly and he will look at you like you’re a mythical goddess forever.
Where do you see women getting their wants and needs twisted? The floor is yours.
Thank you to the kind Saturday Single to allowing me to vent and guest post. So I met this guy who’s a doctor (hot) he’s a month younger than me (acceptable but against my natural predilections) and saved his sister’s life when she OD’d by cutting open her throat his first year in med school (insanely impressive but a little scary) Emails and IMs immediately follow. Turns out he’s some hard core genetic researcher. I don’t understand all the words but I think there is some sort of specialization in liver disease- which if he saw my liver up close, probably wouldn’t be interested, but so far I have him fooled and smitten. Sounds brilliant when he talks about work, sincere when he talks about his family, and slips into ebonics on when talking about music or me and is the whitest guy ever. It takes me about 10 mintues to decode his texts because he makes up acronyms for sentences that aren’t common place and arbitrarily skips letters which I would argue are critical.
Exhibit A: Fts i lft my rx pd smewhre and just got a mssge sme 1 usd it. do i cal popo or trk and beat hs ass?
I leave you with that one for a little. Like a brain teaser.
Anywho, having been crushed (again) recently and in need male attention, I tell him I’ll meet him for a drink by the hospital where he’s still working. We have a fine time- it’s a little awkward, but whatever. The date ends he walks me to my car. We hugged it out and tells me he’s parked right up the street. I offer to give him a lift and then we drive – oh I don’t know 5 miles to his car- it’s still on campus but unless he was in the mood to run a marathon at midnight i would NEVER walk that far…unless I was in ny where the rules are different. Then he proceeds to give me an ipod touch he says he bought for me bc i like gadgets i guess and tells me he got me a gym membership and wanted to know if I wanted to work out with him over the weekend- that or I can just go pick up my membership card at any time- huh?
Oh that- and he wants me to go to hong kong for xmas with him but he’s never been out of the country before probably because he spends all his money buying total strangers ipods and gym memberships.
P.S. I met him 48 hours ago.
Cheers-
(this is a guest post from a wonderful friend. Feel free to email me any dating stories!)
Now with Clint on Vacation until Wednesday, I can finally take a step back and look at the mess I’ve caused. The other night while closing with him, we began to argue about who was really responsible for starting this. All along I have blamed him, “Don’t start something you can’t finish,” I tell him. He spun around to face me, a broad grin causing his lips to twitch just slightly, “excuse me? I remember looking up into those big doe-like eyes, ‘Can I give you a blow job?’ Yeah, it’s ALL my fault.” My jaw dropped and for several long seconds I was speechless. “No! You were putting me through the worst guilt trip for not having offered sooner!” We both bowed up, yelling at each other’s face, albeit playfully. We were both laughing but I knew it was understood between us that we both had an equal part in igniting this affair. But I hate that word: affair. To me that sounds more like two people secretly, passionately grappling each other in the shadows, sharing deep, meaningful kisses and lying in each other’s arms afterwards. That isn’t what this is. I’m still trying to figure out what this is. When he’s near I feel as if I’ve swallowed a dozen lightening bugs and their little heated bodies ricochet off my ribcage. I’m attracted to him only because he fits into a mold that I’ve created. He ain’t a cowboy, but I can easily close my eyes and imagine him in wranglers, a stetson, and a pair of ropers. His voice carries a hint of a drawl that makes my heart race. Although, I can just as easily be a star co-worker. I can tell he likes it when I pretend there is nothing happening between us. Like yesterday, I happened to notice he was wearing his jeans again. He most have remembered how I oogled him in his jeans the other day. Yesterday he was wearing boots, too. Not cowboy, but work boots. When I noticed them, and he just happened to be talking to me, I visibly shuddered and smiled that secret smile. I was so distracted I almost didn’t notice that he had stopped mid-sentence to grin and watch me, “You like my boots?” With a soft purr, “I like all of it…the jeans, the boots…” And at that time I noticed a customer waiting to be checked out and I rushed over to help them. Afterwards, Clint was standing beside me and asked me if I had seen the new schedule. Of course I noticed! I worked with Clint the day he returned from Vacation on Wednesday! Then I had Friday, Saturday and Sunday off! I was screaming with joy inside. With a casual nod I smiled and said, “Yeah! I have a three day weekend!” I almost dropped to my knees laughing when I noticed his look, but I couldn’t let him know how hungry I was for that Wednesday night. “Well…did you see the hours for Wednesday?” I giggled and nodded. He stepped closer to tell me all he was looking forward to doing to me on Wednesday. Before he left he turned to look at me, “hey!..Wednesday.” and with a leud grasp of his crotch, he left. I could hear his loud bellowing laugh as he walked away.
I’ve also decided that I’m going back out to Red River tonight, Friday. I’ve told Clint and he wants me to promise to be good and be safe. He told me he would call Saturday to find out what happened. I made a promise to myself and an agreement with Daisy, that I would be a good girl. No more trips to the parking lot. I’m NOT going to let Ed Hardy lure me off the dance floor. I’m just looking to dance with a few cowboys and behave myself…to an extent. I asked Daisy to behave Friday night and if she does I won’t try to hold her back Wednesday night with Clint.
“I told myself, “I am a pornstar. I am an escort. In my world, I can’t afford to love. Nor can anybody love me in return.”
Samme man dricker bara Cola Light och äter Viagra innan en porrinspelning. Eller skjuter upp.
Jag ser på dokumentärserien Everything you wanted to know about gay porn stars (but were afraid to ask). 16 bögporrskådisar berättar öppenhjärtat och naket om kärlek, droger och sjukdomar. Om hur de kom in i branschen, pinsamma inspelningsögonblick och sina uppväxtår.
Jag får tårar i ögonen väldigt ofta under de sju avsnitten. För det är många gånger väldigt ledsamt. Utlämnande. Intressant. Tankeväckande. Utmanande.
Jag skulle kunna skriva tusentals tecken om allt de säger.
Men jag vet inte hur jag ska ta till mig alla deras historier. Hur jag ska kunna ignorera sorgen i många av deras ögon. Hur jag inte ska gå på bilden av porrbranschen enbart fylld av en massa med trasiga människor. Som en av dem säger:
“There’s something familiar with living in loneliness. Even though it’s horrible and lonely, stepping outside of that can be even more terrifying. In porn you never have to step outside”
Det är en helt annan värld som jag aldrig någonsin har varit i närheten av. Varken i mitt liv eller genom skildringar av andras liv. Och jag försöker att inte döma. Jag försöker att inte generalisera hela industrin när jag hör deras ofta sorgliga historier.
Jag märker efter varje nytt avsnitt av serien att jag bara vill omfamna dem alla. Det är tatuerade muskelmän. Det är unga tonårsgrabbar med fnittriga röster. Jag vill bara bli kär i dem alla. Jag vill bara blåsa på såret. Lägga på ett plåster.
En av porrskådisarna säger en intressant sak:
“You work as a fantasy and your work is a big part of your life. How do you think that would effect you? The porn has become my life, I am my porn self 90 percent of the time cause I work so much. And he’s not real, that guy is not real. How much space is there left for me, my true self?”
För de flesta har porren blivit en del av dem. Det och horandet, som de flesta tydligen gör vid sidan av. För de blir inte rika på porren. Alla de miljarder som bögporrindustrin omsätter hamnar inte i deras fickor. Så varför gör de det?
Det är en massa olika livsöden. Vissa har haft vanliga uppväxter. Befriade från mobbning och omfamnade av sina familjer. De flesta har haft det sämre. En berättar om att han blev sexuellt utnyttjad hela barndomen. En berättar om att ha blivit våldtagen av två män som gjorde att han fick ärr i analen. En berättar om sin mamma som dog ung av alkoholförgiftning.
Ingen har något bättre svar på varför de gör porr än att de en gång i tiden tyckte att det var spännande och att de sedan har fortsatt. Att det ger dem bekräftelse. Självförtroende.
Men kärlek då?
Det har jag alltid undrat. De intervjuade har olika erfarenheter, men de flesta har svårt att hitta någon som vill ha dem för dem, och inte bara porrstjärnan. Och det är svårt att hitta killar som klarar av att de knullar andra regelbundet. De flesta väljer bort kärleken för porren.
“You can not not have a problem with your boyfriend fucking tons of guys. I can’t give my partner enough blowjobs to build his confidence and to make him believe me when I say it’s just work.”
Ett allvarligt problem som serien tar upp är spridningen av hiv, då det dels är många som drogar i industrin plus att det finns många som kör utan kondom då det finns en helt egen marknad för sådana filmer. Och industrin är tydligen inte alls så noga att se till att skådisarna inte är infekterade.
Dokumentärens regissör John Roecker säger:
“During the year-and-a-half it took to complete this project, 22 gay porn stars have died either due to hiv infection or drug addiction. And yet the majority of these movie companies do nothing.”
Den här dokumentärserien är kanske inte den bästa jag har sett, men mycket väl den mest tankeväckande. Sex, homosexualitet, kärlek, droger, övergrepp, prostitution. Det är som ett extra porrigt Melrose Place, fast på riktigt. Det gör allt sorgligt, verkligt, innanför huden.
Och även om jag kanske inte förstår varför man vill göra porr, så har jag fått en större respekt för dem som gör det. Eller som en i dokumentären säger:
“What I think of people judging me? I will live my life, make my own choices and make my own mistakes. That is no ones business but my own, so fuck off!”
The term ‘consensual incest’ has surfaced with Mackenzie Phillip’s story. Normally I can just toss hideous phrases into the ‘never to be used’ pile, but this one is so vile I don’t want to go near it.
I’m sending healing energy to the precious children who have been harmed by sexual abuse, and more energy to those who have not yet been able to find their voice and speak their truth.
The average British man claims to have actually slept with nine people, while women put the figure at 6.3, giving an average of 7.65. — PHOTO: REUTERS
LONDON – THE average British man or woman has slept with 2.8 million people – albeit indirectly, according to figures released Wednesday to promote awareness of sexual health.
A British pharmacy chain has launched an online calculator which helps you work out how many partners you have had, in the sense of exposure to risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STIs).
The ‘Sex Degrees of Separation’ ready reckoner tots up the numbers based on your number of partners, then their previous partners, and their former lovers, and so on for six ‘generations’ of partners.
The average British man claims to have actually slept with nine people, while women put the figure at 6.3, giving an average of 7.65.
‘When we sleep with someone, we are, in effect, not only sleeping with them, but also their previous partners and their partners’ previous partners, and so on,’ said Ms Clare Kerr, head of sexual health at Lloydspharmacy.
‘It’s important that people understand how exposed they are to STIs and take appropriate precautions including using condoms and getting themselves checked out where appropriate.’ — AFP
Una historia de amor rendido y entrega total que devendrá en tragedia y obsesión condenada a repetirse. Un doctor que experimenta con anestésicos es incapaz de excitarse más que con los cuerpos muertos (antológica la escena de la morgue en la que Flemyng, descubre el cadaver desnudo de una joven e incapaz de controlarse, entre la culpabilidad y la lujuria siniestra, comienza a retirar la sábana que lo cubre hasta que es sorprendido por uno de sus ayudantes) deja en estado catatónico a su bella y connivente esposa para poder así consumar. Una dosis equivocada termina por matarla. Doce años después una nueva mujer llegará a la casa recién desposada con el doctor, pero ignorante de su secreto. La obra maestra del “gótico” italiano y un film de una densidad conceptual y estética apabullantes. Bellísimo y malsano a partes iguales, desesperado, lírico, espeluznante y por completo arrebatador.
L’orribile segreto del Dr. Hichcock
Director: Riccardo Freda
Año: 1962
País: Italia
Fotografía: Raffaele Masciocchi
Música: Roman Vlad
Guión: Ernesto Gastaldi
Reparto: Robert Flemyng, Barbara Steele, Silvano Tranquilli, Maria Teresa Vianello, Harriet Medin
81 min.
“Las últimas cumbres del amor“
Fascina por su ritualización del deseo, una teatralización del acto sexual que es auténtica “puesta en escena” de la pasión, reducida/reconducida en artificio fetichista, todo ello plasmado con una fuerza plástica descomunal: el protagonista duerme/mata a su esposa en un altar preparado para la adoración/consumación, en unos “tableaux vivants” de extraña gracia, de perversa armonía.
Supone una reflexión terminal sobre los abismos del amor, la belleza del horror y los límites de la entrega con forma de cuento fantasmal de romanticismo mórbido. fTodo filmado con un gusto difícilmente descriptible, con esos interiores recargados y ominosos, con la presencia constante de los retratos de la mujer fallecida (que remiten sin ambages a “Rebeca”, film con el que mantiene no pocos puntos de contacto), de raíz expresionista y pictórica, en los que la densidad del papel pintado en combinación con los tonos ocre y pastel de la fotografía (por completo anti-naturalista y saturada de colores musgosos y rosaceos, contrastados por el blanco refulgente del pasillo en escalera) dan como resultado un efecto de empastamiento en el que personajes y decorados se funden, conformando un fondo en movimiento que potencia la cualidad hipnótica del conjunto.
Soberbiamente interpretada, tanto por Robert Flemyng en el papel de torturado doctor como por la imprescindible Barbara Steele, musa indisociable del género y presencia cinematográfica casi irreal. Con mención honorífica a la presencia al guión de Ernesto Gastaldi, fundamental presencia en la sombra del “cinema bis” italiano. Genialmente dirigida, con una planificación subyugante, irrepetible, la mejor manifestación de la gran clave del horror (temática compartida por el fundamental maestro Mario Bava) según Freda: el monstruo interior, el verdadero terror nacido del hombre. Suponiendo no solo la obra maestra de Freda (que intentaría remedarla el “Lo Spettro”) sino un clásico absoluto.
The moment you find yourself questioning your relationship: asking yourself if you were meant to be, if you made the right choice, or if it’s going to work out, you know that your relationship is in hot water.
One thing you’ll definitely ask yourself though, is ‘What went wrong?‘
Did you not follow certain rules and meet certain standards to make things right?
Today, I’ll be giving you the 101 of relationship myths that are so busted!
Myth 1: Successful Relationship = Meeting of Minds You and your partner are completely different people with different backgrounds, personality and mindsets. Men & women are wired differently, so don’t try to think alike. His/Her character is complimentary, and shouldn’t be reflective of yours. Appreciate your differences.
Myth 2: Successful Relationship = Fiery Romance No doubt, you should include lots of romance into your relationship but life isn’t like what you see in the movies, and it certainly isn’t a fairytale. Wild passion will fade over time but it doesn’t mean you’re not in love anymore. The solution isn’t to start a new relationship but rather move on for a richer experience.
Myth 3: Successful Relationship = Great Problem Solving You can’t avoid disagreements in a relationship. Not being able to resolve an issue doesn’t mean that you cannot be happy. That is why you would need to agree to disagree at some point in time, otherwise known as a compromise.
Myth 4: Successful Relationship = Common Interests You and your partner are two entities. Forcing common activities and interests might results in tension, conflict and stress.
Myth 5: Successful Relationship = No Conflicts Arguing doesn’t mean there’s a problem in the relationship. In fact, it allows for a release of tension and gives you a chance to understand and express emotions.
Myth 6: Successful Relationship = Emotional Expression Expressing your emotions and your chain of thought to your partner may be good but there are certain things that would require some censorship and filtering before being blurted out. Bite your tongue and think before you speak because some words could be potentially destructive.
Myth 7: Successful Relationship = Great Sex Sex may help release tension but even couples with satisfying sex lives rate it at only 10% on the importance scale. Physical intimacy such as holding hands, caressing and touching are the essentials in physical intimacy with your partner.
Myth 8: Successful Relationship = Perfect Partner Every one of us have our shortcomings. Instead of focussing on your partner’s, learn to live with it just like they live with yours. As long as they are non-abusive and non-destructive, you can learn to accommodate it.
Myth 9: There Are Rights/Wrongs To Successful Relationships There are no defined rights and wrongs. Do what you feel is right rather than follow a set of rigid rules. Just like how we are all different, we also express love differently.
Myth 10: You Can Fix Your Partner To Make a Great Relationship Don’t start believing that you can change your partner and that will make things better. Both of you are equally accountable. Make changes to yourself and take responsibility for yourself.
At least that was the general consensus at a recent social gathering. My female friends were all in agreement.
The professor thing was interesting enough, being a poet certainly added a touch of the romantic, but the Buddhist thing, well the Buddhist thing was just hot.
I was baffled. This way of life, this philosophy, this practice that had engaged my everyday living for fifteen-plus years, this was sexy? Sitting still for hours and simply breathing, trying to undermine attachment and craving, letting go of my expectations moment to moment to moment, this was…hot? It seemed odd that a religion that had inspired so many to take vows of celibacy was now being equated with sex. Some investigation was definitely called for.
“It’s just the lure of the exotic!” My Buddhist friends screamed after hearing this revelation.
“Only someone who doesn’t know anything about the practice could possibly think that,” said a female Buddhist who has never been able to stoke a sexual fire with a Buddhist male.
Yet, my spiritual colleagues valid objections aside, I think I have to agree with my more western-minded buddies, and not just because I like having another notch of sexy on my bedpost, no way. Buddhism, on further reflection, does make you sexy.
How so? By training you to appreciate the moment for what it is, it trains you to appreciate your lover for who he or she truly is. The Hollywood expectations and media yardsticks that infiltrate our sheets, Buddhism could purge those, in time. Those four other people – your mom and dad, your sweetheart’s mom and dad – that Sigmund Freud claimed symbolically turned your sex life orgiastic, Buddhism could send them packing, too.
Push all the mantras and scriptures and confusing Asian symbols aside, and Buddha’s message is simple. Life is happening here. Life is happening now. Wake up from your dreams of the past and the future. Stay here. Be in the now. Sexualize that and you get, “We are here. Our time is now. Stay with me here. Take me now!”So find a comfortable place to sit, remember to keep your spine straight, follow your breathing, or focus on your favorite word or phrase or prayer. Let go of past grievances and future expectations a little at a time. And when you develop some of that razor-sharp focus and an ability to commit completely to this very moment, unleash that on your lover.
From everything I have talked about in the last few blogs, and from the things I know about myself, here is what I think: I don’t think we should impose ourselves to fit into any kind of norm – like the straight world. Those rules have been imposed on us by our hetero-normative Judaic friends. If it works for some couples,…. that is wonderful. If it doesn’t work for others, they shouldn’t feel they are wrong for trying out different arrangements. It’s kind of that whole,… Samantha Jones versus every other girl in the group.
Monogamy shouldn’t be the default; the couple should talk about it and do what’s right for them – they should keep talking about it, all the time, because feelings will change. They should be willing to re-evaluate not only the rules of monogamy, but the relationship itself. There is no reason to fool yourself into staying in a relationship that no longer makes you happy. Life is too short.
My guess is that if all gay men were truly honest about what they want: a.) apocalypse now. b.) most would like to try an open relationship. c.) as a result, most relationships would fall apart. Perhaps, most gay guys aren’t cut out for the whole, “… Til death do us part,” phrase,… unless they have found the one they’re meant to be with forever. It’s just that, as bad as it may sound bluntly, when you have two people in a relationship who are visually-oriented and hard-wired to sow their wild oats – it’s hard.
Personally, an open relationship would be less than ideal. It could only work if the communication was completely open and honest,… and if I could some-how believe that the sex my boy-friend was having on the side was only of the just for fun, no emotion involved variety. I would have to know that he loves only me, and will love only me. Of course!, that is impossible – just reading the previous blogs you would know that it’s impossible. The more he sleeps with others, the more likely he is to find somebody else better than I am, someone he could love more. Also, the less likely he is to want to tell me about it, because he would know I would be hurt. The lies would then start to snow ball,… I will get hurt,… and, that, of course, is why we insist on sexual monogamy: To protect emotional fidelity.
I do believe what I said earlier, life is too short to be with somebody you no longer love. Emotional fidelity is stupid if you are happier without it. But!, of course. I am a hypocrite. I believe in theory, but not if it means the guy I lovewill leave me for somebody else. I slightly want an open relationship, but I need a life-long partner more. Maybe!, I shouldn’t. Maybe!, I have bought into the hetero-normative ideal. Maybe!, it’s unfair and possessive and unnatural,… But!, I think I would probably rather draw a line in the sand about sex with others – so, that the emotions couldn’t develop with others. The emotions could develop anyway, of course,… But!, sex is an effective prophylactic.
So!, what does that mean when it is all said and done?,… In an effort to preserve a relationship one, or both, of us may not want forever if we knew better, I would rather we both deny ourselves the opportunity to find somebody we love more. In order to prevent my boy-friend, more honestly, from finding somebody he loves more than me, I am willing to forego the opportunity to find somebody I love more. This whole last paragraph doesn’t sound very good, at all. I don’t know. This is already too long of a blog. && My head is hurting.
—
Well, there is the last installment of that piece. Thoughts?
We have completed our casting for our nest Horror Film, it is that time of they year again where as in Copycat, make sure to keep your doors looked as the leaves fall from the trees and the wind grows brisker signaling the arrival of fall, and HALLOWEEN. Stay tuned for our next release, what we can tell you in this, 3 ladies, 2 new ones, and plenty of Bondage and more…
(My Brother S.L. Maxam wrote this article about the “6 stroke Method” Every man should know this)
Every man should tap into his internal creativity when it comes to being a good lover. But first you should have a good foundation and that foundation starts with what I call the 6 stroke minimum. What is the 6 stroke minimum you ask? Well a stroke can be defined as a thrust or how you enter the vagina with your penis.
Many men have the very typical stroke where they thrust in and out of the vagina. This is lazy. Many men may increase or decrease the speed or intensity of this stroke but it will eventually become boring to your partner.
Instead of relying on this one stroke a man should have at least 6 strokes in arsenal. 3 of these strokes should be unique to YOU as a lover meaning that you should create at least 3 strokes of your very own so that any women you make love to will remember you for your particular lovemaking style.
But let us get into 3 example of strokes that men can use.
Example number one: the shallow/deep stroke. This stroke is where you enter your partner with only 1/4 or 1/3 of your member and then contrast it with entering your lover with all of your member. But I would advise you to do it rhythmically. One way would be to go shallow, shallow, shallow then deep and then repeat.
Example number two: deep thrust and hold: This stroke is where you enter your partner as deeply as possible and then hold her for 1 to 2 seconds.
Example number three: the 360 stroke: Anyone who has danced to dancehall reggae, salsa or meringue will be familiar with how important the movement of your hips are when expressing sexuality and sensuality. For our third stroke we want to use our hips as a tool. As you thrust into your partner you want to rotate your hips 360 degrees in a circular motion. This stroke allows you to hit/touch your lover’s vaginal walls. Remember the vagina is a circle and so this stroke allows you to address this. You can go in a clockwise and counter-clockwise direction with this stroke.
Ok with the three strokes above you can create combinations which will give you even more strokes. One combination is the 360 stroke with the deep thrust and hold. For example as you rotate hips you also enter as deeply as possible and hold.
As far as the strokes unique to you this is where you have to tap into your INTERNAL creativity and create your own strokes.
Lastly once you combine these strokes with various positions from missionary, cowgirl, doggystyle etc. The feeling, intensity and effectiveness of each stroke will be different. If you multiply just the 3 strokes I’ve given you with 3 different sexual positions then you have 9 different ways to satisfy your partner. Now if you have your 6 strokes then you’ll have 18 different combos. If you have your 6 strokes and 6 different sexual positions that will equal 36 different combinations.
So get out there guys. Practice your strokes, create some new strokes and learn new positions. This will make you a more interesting and better lover.
-S.L.M.
For More relationship advice and to download my free ebook “The Magnificent 10: Crucial Dating Tips for Men” visit www.mrlocario.com
Long time no blog, I’m sure you’ll all agree. I’ve had a lot on to say the least… Life over the past month has been a haze of online job searching, fall-outs with some of my nearest and dearest, a near-love experience, and an shockingly high volume of alcohol consumption.
Let’s start with the online job searching… YES THATS RIGHT, I LOST MY FUCKING JOB… They made me redundant, paid me till the end of the month, and sent me on my merry way there and then. Been looking for a job since but there is absolutely nothing decent around. Not even anything that I’d be happy to settle with. I am very seriously considering fucking off to somewhere new, squatting in someone’s spare room, and trying my best to sort my bloody life out… Oh Stormmmmmyyyy! Haha. The plan to go away next year is completely on now, if it doesn’t come sooner. I refuse to stay here for much longer. *throws toys out of pram*
Through my recent ‘ploughing’ of young boys who have come and gone quite rapidly – all my choice, mainly due to their immaturity (shocking for boys with an average age of 20, i know), and also due to my brilliantly selfish “i got what I want out of you and now I’m done with you” mentality, I bagged myself a new boy on Bank Holiday Sunday… Saul was the friend of a friend who originally branded me ‘Lohan’ and told me that I thrived on debauchery and raunch = instant attraction… Although my original intentions were to force my face upon his that evening (which I did), get him to take me out (which he did) and then ruin him sexually beyond all psychological repair (which I did NOT), I ended up liking him, a lot. Fuck it, it was far too much. We just seemed to click and the tables seemed to turn quite quickly for me for reasons unknown and I started to get snuggly and soppy (NOT ME AT ALL). What I wanted (i.e. a fuck), in fact wasn’t what I wanted from him at all – so sex was put on the back burner, and although it would have been nice to be physically closer to him before he went away, it really wasn’t that important. I’ve never been less bothered about not getting my way as I was with him, because it felt like the other stuff was enough… As fairytale-ish as this is sounding, let’s not forget, this situation does involve me, and much like most of the good’uns I’ve had a slight attraction to in the past, he’s leaving the Valley for bigger and better things. He’s fucking off to the opposite side of the country to go to Plymouth for 4 years for Uni… Clearly bitter.
He left this afternoon, but our goodbye was on Tuesday. It was traumatic. We made the decision to leave what had happened as just that, and to not carry anything on once he’d moved. An odd conversation for us both to have considering not that much had actually happened, but we were both left messed and headfucked… Being fair, I did actually want him to have a clean slate when he got there. Being selfish, I wanted to lay claims on him even though he was away, and I wanted him to have claims on me too. He had said he didn’t want me to have to be committed to him when he wasn’t around, but I would have been in a flash if he’d have wanted me to be. Deep down I wish he could have been a prince charming type that came and swept me off my feet so I wouldn’t feel the need to carry on with the others, and to wean me off my plethora of boy-poon. But maybe this was as good as it was because it was doomed from the start. Maybe if he was staying around, we wouldn’t have got on so well. Acchh, who am I trying to convince… I think he could have ’saved me’, but Im beginning to feel like I’m unsaveable…. My god, I’ve missed venting on here!
The repetitive days of bed-dwelling and daytime TV watching throughout the week have caused me to start over-thinking EVERYTHING. Not like me at all, I’m normally very black and white… At the beginning of my unemployment, i was feeling quite positive about my life, the volume of boy-poon I was attracting, and pretty much all my relationships with friends and family. I have since turned into a complete emo bitch… Jeremy Kyle gives me hope, I’ve decided. It may be a pile of dogshit with some silly old chump who talks about the same nonsense, reciting the same lines every day, but whenever I watch it I feel a hell of a lot better about myself. It seems there is always somebody who is a lot worse off than I am.
Now to lift out of my pit of depression… on the plus side, i got through the first stage of the process and my naked self will be displayed on the Suicide Girls website on October the 23rd… YEEESSSSSSS!! Teaser photos coming soon bitches.
When reading this interview with David Levy in the Guardian about the advances in sex robot development, for a fleeting moment I had this utopian vision where there would be no more sex trafficking in the world. But of course, human lives are much cheaper than those robots. I looked up the robots David is talking about (with the heated parts but cold feet… ok, that’s realistic!) and they are approximately € 5,500 or US$ 8,000 for a female doll. You can buy 160 Haitian girls for that amount of money.
I’m a busy boy this week, covering seven football matches in eight days in the Champions League, Europa League, Premier League, Championship and League Cup as well as fitting in my usual DJ-ing commitments at Pussycats on Friday and Saturday. As a self-employed individual, I adopt the old mantra: If I’m working, I’m earning.
Too many people think the world owes them a living – usually lazy, council house-dwelling dole grabbers and lazy, spoilt little rich kids – whereas I was brought up to get out there and earn a crust. Yes, I’m lucky I love my work but I’ve had the odd spell in my life where it wasn’t so great.
Don’t rely on the Government to completely look after you. Don’t go to mummy and daddy even if they have deep pockets and constantly try to buy your affection. Do some graft yourself. You’ll feel much better for it.
*****
The most important thing this week is that my dad has just celebrated his 75th birthday. I can barely believe he’s three quarters of a century. That’s like SO ancient. But in actual fact he doesn’t seem in the slightest bit ancient to me.
He keeps himself fit by running around the house trying to find the right side of mum because he knows it’s never clever being on the wrong side. She keeps him on his toes. I personally think that, despite his mellow demeanour, he actually pulls the strings in the relationship (married 39 years now, by the way) but just lets mum THINK she’s the boss.
It’s never easy buying a card to celebrate a birthday because I get caught between wanting something with meaningful words or one that’s just got a good joke on it. It is, of course, the thought that counts anyway.
I was in the shop last week ploughing through loads of cards, unable to find anything suitable, and then came across one which choked me a bit. There was moistness in my eyes when I read the words. It said:
“So much of the person I am, is because of the father you are. Thanks dad and Happy Birthday.”
He, of course, may take that as an insult should he believe that I’ve grown into a terrible son, not worthy of the Peters name. I don’t think, however, that he has that view. Although I have a feeling this hasn’t crossed his mind…
“He calls himself djwanker and has pink toenails – that’s my boy!”
*****
Rest In Peace = Patrick Swayze. By all accounts, he was one of the nicer celebrities in Hollywood. Please don’t shoot me or anything but his performance in Ghost with Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg was amazing. Yes, I know it’s a chick flick and all that but a good film is a good film is a good film.
*****
Given the subject matter of Ghost – come on, you all know what it’s about – I’m sure it won’t be long before some pathetic individual (like me, for example) sends you this text… “Do you think Whoopie has heard from him yet?”
You didn’t think that was funny did you?
Ditto.
At least he had the time of his life.
(This is getting worse by the minute.)
*****
Kanye West will probably interrupt Swayze’s funeral and say how Jacko’s death was better.
*****
The pictures I took of JLS in Ibiza have turned up on the band’s official website forum. I’m not sure how people who don’t know me actually located them but that’s the power of the internet, I suppose. I am reliably informed by the people on the forum that it was Aston and Marvin on the photos but that just sounds like the kind of car James Bond would drive.
I also discovered that JLS stood for Jack The Lad Swing and was put right when I suggested JLS was the bloke who did the Sunday Night Project with Alan Carr.
*****
Do you know what ANBG is? It’s bang out of order, that’s what it is.
Think about it.
*****
Thanks for your continued feedback about the blog. Here is a selection:
Paula Streames: “I’m a single mum with two kids living on a council estate. I know the way you think and write and I don’t take it too seriously.”
That’s my kind of blog reader.
MarkyC: “Not enough steam let off in the blog. As it was results week, it has to be a C minus lol.”
Jules Rawlings: “You were on form this week. I especially enjoyed the Ketamine story and the part about Chlamydia Woodside. LMAO.”
Jonny Bradley: “More good stuff, fella. PS. Do you fancy any Ketamine?”
Erm, no thanks.
Chris Banks: “Liked the blog again, Geoff. This friend you mentioned who is normally more drunk than yourself and causes a bit of mischief, does his name start with a ‘D’ and end (ironically) with ‘Ale’?”
I couldn’t possibly comment because the person involved would get upset.
Victoria Harper: “Your blog made laugh out loud as usual, especially the bit about the dopey woman on the plane. I have a friend who did exactly the same!”
Well we better not embarrass Kath by revealing who it was then, eh Vic?
Andy Sealey: “I’ve never been to the White Isle so it’s been good to hear a side that isn’t just a blurry mess. Your jokes are getting worse by the way – that said, they still made me smile. Roll on next week.”
I have to keep the jokes simple so the simpletons can understand them.
Mel Jones: “I finally got time to sit and read last weeks blog and may I say it was just what I needed. I laughed my socks off (well i would have if I’d had any on!) xx”
Peter ‘Speedo’ Fitzgerald: “The blog is spot on as ever – what will you find to write about if you have had the year’s last Ibiza trip?”
Oh I’ll find something…
*****
A new survey suggests that teachers think they can tell which pupils are likely to cause trouble just by looking at their names. Pupils called Crystal, Daniel, Courtney, Aleisha, Chelsea, Jack, Connor, Brandon and Chardonnay were among some of the ones to watch.
I would’ve thought a quick check at the home address might give a few clues. Teacher: “Hmm – Callum from Malinslee / Danielle from Sutton Hill… we’re in for some problems here.”
Okay, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with being called Callum or Danielle and living in Malinslee or Sutton Hill. It was just an example to fit my sarcastic stereotype. Please don’t cry.
*****
From the BBC website: “Doctors say there should be a ban on all alcohol advertising, including sports and music sponsorship.” They reckon we’re turning into a nation of massive boozers. We already have these ‘please drink responsibly’ tags on adverts which are just another example of the nanny state.
A bag of peanuts has to say, for legal reasons: “Contains nuts.” Of course it does… it’s a bag of fucking peanuts! Technically, though, a peanut is actually a legume but I’m not going to split hairs with you on this.
McDonald’s has to warn customers that the coffee they serve “maybe hot.” Well I should bloody hope so. I know it’s done to try and stop frivolous legal cases but it’s just ridiculous, really it is.
I might get an official trademark for this blog: “May Contain Opinions, Facts and Comments You Don’t Like. So Fuck Off.”
*****
Stolen from the letters page of Viz magazine:
“What is it with diabetics? One minute they’re on the floor with a loved one standing by screaming “Give him some chocolate! Give him some chocolate!” The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and quick as a flash they say “No thanks, I’m diabetic.” I wish they’d get their story straight.”
”Why is it that a pub won’t serve me if I’m drunk, but McDonalds continue serving them fat fuckers? It’s hardly fair.”
*****
From the Shropshire Star last week: An armed robber from Telford who handed himself in to police because he felt so guilty has been jailed for three years.
“I thought prison would be better than living in Telford,” he didn’t say, because it wouldn’t be funny although it might nudge the sensitive souls reading this to go elsewhere.
*****
Exciting developments are afoot at the old Athena development in Telford town centre. The official opening night is Wednesday 7th October at Club Crush and Vox, the adjoining bar – although a select few will be invited to the VIP event the night before. Please, please, please stop messaging me asking if I’ll be working there or whether I can get you tickets – I’m still trying to get tickets myself for the launch!
*****
If you head to the gallery at www.djwanker.com you will see another fine selection of Pussycats photos from last weekend.
*****
He may be Italian but Fabio Capello seems to be working wonders with the England football team – eight wins out of eight to qualify for the 2010 World Cup Finals in South Africa. Quickly out with a soundbite after the game against Croatia last week was Gordon Brown (he’s the Prime Minister, you dumbo) who congratulated them on their achievement – although, being Scottish, I imagine he did it through gritted teeth.
*****
I was in Blockbuster last week and asked if I could rent Batman Forever. The woman behind the counter said: “No, you have to bring it back.”
*****
My good friends at Tantalize Beauty Salon in Madeley have asked me to inform you of their latest offer. If you ring them up (01952 585853) or go into the salon yourself and mention this blog, you will get 10% off selected treatments. I suggested to Trudy, the owner, that we really need ‘the phrase that pays’ so I came up with this…
“DJ Wanker Ate My Hamster.”
Try it. No, seriously – try it. It’ll give Trudy, Tania and Jade a good laugh and you’ll get your discount!
*****
Do you think homeless people appreciate ‘knock, knock’ jokes?
*****
And finally, any jokes or clever satire you find funny in the blog is all my own work whereas the ones you dislike have quite obviously been pinched from elsewhere.
Cheers for now, Geoff / DJ Wanker
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Been quite busy preparing for my life to change – as most of you know, I’m leaving for England this week to study abroad. It’s the main reason I haven’t been posting, though I admit I have had some delicious sex with a very smart young man and probably have some fodder if I really wanted to stop packing and start writing. But to be honest, I probably won’t be posting until I get settled in. Jet lag and orientations await.
Watch out, UK, here comes the Coquitten. I will sex up your men and women and take control of the campus and the city. I will flirt my way through your pubs and charm my way into your pants. I will be naked in your streets and in your beds. And you will like it.
I did this without consulting with my psychiatrist or my therapist–I was supposed to have appointments with both last week, but then last week turned out to be INSANE, what with work piling up and mi’lady’s family in town, so I had to cancel both appointments. (I was at work until 10pm on Friday, just to give you an idea of how bad it was. Um, ugh?) Anyway, I know that’s not a particularly good idea, but I just had to stop. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t swallow that baby blue pill anymore. I just couldn’t do it. And it was because of the one side effect. I only had one side effect, just one, but it was a dealbreaker.
I couldn’t orgasm.
Well, okay, I could. But it took. FOREVER. F.O.R.E.V.E.R. For-fucking-ever. At least an hour. And it was a stressful hour, because I would get up there pretty quickly, would be turned on really fast, and then would plateau. And I’d be on this plateau for at least 45 minutes, usually longer, and just couldn’t get anywhere. If I gave up, I was really, really uncomfortable. I totally believe in “blue balls” now. It actually hurt to stop. So I would have to keep going, and it would get number and number, and eventually, after a fucking eternity, I would finally have an orgasm, but by that time I was so stressed and frustrated that I couldn’t even feel happy or satisfied or warm and fuzzy, I just felt relieved.
And every morning, swallowing that pill became harder and harder, because I knew that it was going to continue to prevent me from just having a good orgasm. It didn’t affect my libido at all — I was still as horny as ever, thank god — and mi’lady was really good about being patient and encouraging and supportive and all that. But it just wasn’t worth it to me. So I stopped taking it.
And OH MY GOD. People. ORGASMS ARE SO AMAZING. I forgot how good orgasms are. I forgot!!! They’re so good!!! I just want to have sex all the time now. It was a really bad week to want to fuck all the time, because I was so busy and the family was in town and etc etc. But we still managed to get some good (quick) fucking in there, and OH BOY am I glad I stopped taking that pill.
I know it may not have been the most responsible decision. When I see my psychiatrist next week, I’m going to talk about it and figure out whether something else might work better, and what I should do next time when I’m feeling like I just can’t do it anymore. Maybe there’s a better option than just quitting the meds. And maybe I’ll regret it next time my period rolls around and I’m sinking into despair again. But it certainly made me realize how important sexual satisfaction is for me, and how stressful it is to not have that release available to me. And so I think I did make a decision that was taking care of my mental health.
Plus, even though she was a total trooper, it makes mi’lady so much happier when I’m having good orgasms.
The storyboard contained herein is the combined work of a number of teenagers when set the task of creating a story revolving around money, at the YouthBank MoneySense program in Dublin, 12th September 2009
Enjoy. We did.
Picture 1;
Meet Joe Rae. An average secondary school student who dreams big. Notice his education aspirations and his fancy, intelligent tie
Picture 2;
We jump forward a few months in Joe’s life and here he is queueing up to spend all his hard-earned cash on clubbing, alcohol and his girlfriend, Amy Winehouse’s E tabs. His lifestyle has changed completely
Picture 3;
Our hero is faced with a tough change now. He has been kicked out for being a drag queen; look at those fancy eyelashes. Perhaps this will be good for our Joe, it is clear that his family is far from normal. His little brother is clearly trippin’ balls on acid, little Joe-sephine is bulimic at the age of 8 and Mammy Rea is inserting a strap-on into Daddy Rae’s rectum. Her expression tells her whole story. She clearly isn’t proud of it, but if she had to do it again, she would. Our hero’s mother wears the pants in this house
Picture 4;
With no money and having been disowned by all that he knows, our Joe is determined to go to college. Look as he steals books from the Collage College Mace and 2 monkey/pig guards chase him. This can’t end well… If only Joe had gotten his necessary amounts of caffeine to calm him down, but Starbucks was closed for lunch… “Its their HOUR of business! RETARDS!- Stuart”
Picture 5;
Its all gone horribly pear-shaped for our hero,now…. Watch as Amy dumps him and proceeds to then write a number 1 album about him. Joe has gotten himself arrested and will surely get life… which is about 6 months now
Picture 6;
There’ll be no fairytale ending here. Our protagonist finds himself Locked Up (they won’t let him out!), Locked Up….
For the foreseeable future, Joe will sit here, left with his thoughts and memories to haunt him. College is no longer a thought, all Joe wants to do is get back to when he had a life; family, school, a soul-singing girlfriend…
I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but it’s been cooling off and getting overcast in Austin as we head into the fall. I for one, could not be happier. We’ve had months of three-digit temperatures, the heat forming itself into my nifty foot tan and bleaching the plush Garfield on my car window. I celebrated by frequenting Cheapo Discs after work, adding some key titles from Daft Punk, Ariel Pink, Kate Bush, and Black Dice to my collection, along with snagging Air’s 10,000 Hz Legend, one of the funniest albums by a French pop group that boasts one of the prettiest songs Beck ever recorded (”Vagabond”) and my favorite song by the Gallic duo (”Radio #1″).
The punks of Jubilee; image courtesy of stephanievegh.ca
The electrically depressive weather and investment in discarding and collecting our culture’s trash recalls the late Derek Jarman’s Jubilee, a movie I watched last night with Kristen and Curran (we missed Susan, who also usually watches movies with us). I credit Curran, a future queer punk PhD, for introducing me to the movie in the first place and can’t wait to read about it in his dissertation. Released in 1977, it was Jarman’s second movie, and my first viewing of his feature work. I had a passing familiarity of Jarman, as he also made music videos for acts like Suede, The Smiths, and The Pet Shop Boys. For example:
In addition, apparently he and Tilda Swinton were good friends and often worked together, so I think I’ll start with Edward II. You can read Swinton’s touching, lengthy tribute to Jarman.
So, I kinda can’t get over Jubilee. It was kind of amazing, but I don’t think I have a real handle on its plot. I can tell you these things. Queen Elizabeth I is transported to 1977 England, around the time of Elizabeth II’s Silver Jubilee and the country’s considerable economic downturn. From there, the movie preoccupies itself with mixed-gender group of punks linked in varying degrees to one another. They’re played by real British punks of the era (Jordan, Adam Ant, Toyah Wilcox), real queer British punks of the era (Linda Spurrier, Ian Charleson), and one quintessential American queer punk icon (the inimitable Wayne/Jayne County). They live in squalor. They steal cars. They play board games. They quote from historical tomes. They attempt to have pop careers, if only to destroy The Top of the Pops. They love each other, sometimes; that is, when they aren’t killing or getting killed by police.
As a document of its era, the movie is pretty significant. Brian Eno composed the score. Siouxsie and The Banshees appear on the telly. Adam and the Ants audition for a record company. While a bunch of kids attend a disco orgy, The Slits smash up a car. And Jayne County sings to herself in one amazing green room.
And yet it had a theatrical release in the UK, which I can’t imagine how that happened but can fully believe people’s non-plussed response to it. I mean, how do you process the scene where Amyl Nitrate (Jordan) performs her pop “hit” “Rule Britannia” for record mogul/madman Borgia Ginz, played by the phenomenal Orlando?
That said, I found the movie constructively, at times rapturously, difficult. How else to feel but to gape at all of the strong female punks, many of whom abide by defiantly non-normative beauty standards who take pride in their pock marks, acne, fleshy thighs, and cellulite dimples? Or Adam Ant’s feminine beauty? Or the sculpted, smoothed, Greco-Roman-bodied men who one imagines Jarman cast with a loving eye? Or the romantic impulses of the mixed-gender queer trio — two of whom identify each other as brothers? Or the upsetting deaths of the movie’s queer characters (including a particularly brutal, seemingly pointless murder of County — talk about killing your idols!)? Or the blinding whiteness, which, by absence, brings to mind England’s issues with nationalist, segregational racial politics? Or the fast-and-loose timeline? Or the preoccupation with classic art and literature amid and outside London’s urban decay? Or queering up the interactions in such a way so as to trigger punk’s oft-obscured homophobia (apparently Sex proprietrix/designer Vivienne Westwood issued a homophobic missive in response to the movie).
But if punk taught us anything, messy can be beautiful, good, and constructive. This is a movie that revels in this idea. Do make time for it. Just presume that you’ll need to see it twice.
I was thinking when I’m president that we would re-locate Washington to Wasilla. But this shit-hole gulag is a self-deluded cacoon of rednecks and rodents.
Todd fell off his snowmobile again today while he was out taunting fat chicks.
I’m tired. I’m eating too much, I’m irritable. Basically I’m depressed big time. Being mocked continuously takes its toll. Worse yet, I think people are starting to ignore me.
That evil Obama dude is making a health care debate speech to a joint session of congress tomorrow. Decided to inject myself back into the debate with some more “death panel” jive talk in the Wall Street Journal.
Righteous Schimmelbusch, my 2012 campaign manager, says that a poll conducted by Pew Research at the end of August found that 86 percent of respondents had heard of the “death panel” controversy. Of those people, 30 percent said it was true. Just shows what you can get done when armed only with ignorance and a pitchfork.
Those rabblerousers Factcheck.org are on my case again, saying they knew Sarah Palin would be spreading more disinformation on health care.
I don’t know what disinformation is – but Factcheck.org – I knew Sarah Palin, and you sir are no Sarah Palin. Don’t they get that I am paid to say ignornant things.
No more “pull the plug on grandma” – now it’s “pull the plug on factcheck.org”.
Six things I can’t do without:
flush toilets
machine-washed clothes
assaulting the English language
a wilful gift for malapropism
every situation demanding an overly simple solution
Yours, while making sure all the doors are locked before the witch burners arrive
Sarah
p.s. I am not happy with being described as a whiny would-be beauty queen. It is messing with my mojo.
Check out my website. It’s nifty: The Sarah Palin Experience
Manchmal frag ich mich ob Frauen nicht viel lieber einen “Rednichtunterhaltmich” als “Partner” haben wollen, einen Mann der beides macht, Reden und Schweigen zugleich.
Es mag vielleicht quatsch sein, aber ich glaube so manche Frau wünscht sich im Grunde ihres Herzens garkeinen Mann, sondern einen “Rednichtunterhaltmich” -Kennt ihr nicht ? Naja ich auch nicht, aber ich bin mir sicher das es sowas geben muss, schließlich verlangen ja soviele Frauen danach, zwar nicht wörtlich dafür zwischen den Zeilen.Wie ich darauf komme ? -Also, als Kind hab ich immer gerne Dr.Dolittle gelesen, das ist dieser Arzt der mit den Tieren spricht. Darin tauchen alle möglichen lustigen Ficher auf z.B das “Stossmichziehdich”-eine Art Ziege mit zwei Köpfen, einer vorne einer hinten, das Tier muss immer mit sich selbst absprechen in welche Richtung es gehen soll, es weiß nie wo ihm der entscheidende Kopf steht und genauso geht es mir manchmal mit der ein oder anderen Frau/Freundin. Soll ich jetzt einfach munter drauf los quatschen,ihr alles erzählen was mir gerade einfällt, oder die Klappe halten und einfach nur zuhören. Natürlich gibt´s tot traurige Momente da wären z.B “Oh Phil mein Chef ist sooo unfair” – “Die Schuhe gibt´s nicht in Größe 38″ – in denen weiß ich, das zunächst mal nur braves lauschen und danach ermunterndes ablenkungsgequatsche gefragt ist. Allerdings gibt´s auch viele andere Situationen, die Komplexer sind; hier mal drei Beispiele:
Personen: Ich / irgendeine Freundin
Beispiel1
Sie: Was haben die Amis überhaupt für ein bescheuertes Wahlsystem? Da blickt doch keiner durch!
Ich: *Nicke* und fang an von Basisdemokratie und Wahlmännern zureden.
Sie: *unterbricht mich* Danke Streber, keine Referate bitte!
Beispiel2
Sie: *hat ihren Geldbeutel verloren und weint* “Was soll jetzt nur werden,was mach ich nur”
Ich: *lege trösten den arm um sie* und sage “Da sperrt man seine Karten,bestellt einen neuen Ausweiß und telefoniert ein wenig und muss einmal auf´s Amt. Das ist kein Weltunter….
Sie: DU SOLLST MICH TRÖSTEN NICHT BELEHREN!
Beispiel3 (TAGE NACH BEISPIEL 1 UND 2)
Sie: Das Wahlsystem der Amis ist doch echt ein Witz!
Ich: *sage nichts*
1 Minute später:
Sie: “Na du bist ja heute gesprächig, jetzt könntest du mal mit deinem Wissen glänzen aber neiiiin du sagst garnichts!”
Immer heißt es -Ihr Männer könnt nicht zuhören- und genauso immer heißt es -Ihr Männer gricht den Mund nicht auf- , ja was denn jetzt Schweigegelüpte oder Laberflash ? Das schwierige dabei ist ja garnicht mal das zu tun was verlangt wird, sondern zu wissen wann genau was gewünscht ist und dafür sofort automatisch in die richtige Seelenverfassung zu kommen.
Ich wage es kaum zu sagen, auch wir Männer unterliegen Stimmungsschwankungen, mal rede ich wirklich viel und gerne und dann gibt´s Tage an welchen ich einfach kaum etwas bis garnichts sage. Aber wie wechselt Mann zwischen Entertainer und Zuhörer ? – Auf Knopfdruck…JAAA das wäre schon praktisch, aber ich weiß nicht wo sich eben dieser Knopf befindet. Als “Rednichunterhaltmich” wär´s ganz anders.
Ich hätte zwei Köpfe; einer davon hätte keinen Mund dafür aber riesige Ohren, der andere müsste mit fünf Münder in Dolby Surround Sound reden,singen,Geräusche imitieren und lachen. Die beiden Köpfe müssten je nach Laune der Frauen wechseln. Der nicht benötigte Kopf könnte ja dann in einem Loch in der Brust verschwinden, aber DAS wäre vielen, wenn nicht sogar allen Frauen garnicht recht. Denn selbst wenn Mann oft ein Loch in den Bauch gefragt bekommt ist ein Loch im Bauch einfach nicht Sexy und damit wären wir dann schon wieder beim nächsten Problem…ach es wird einfach nicht besser.
Okay, I will fess up… I have not been blogging much lately because I’ve been busy doing other things. Um, important things, you know, communicating, sharing, um… expressing, ah, canoodling, snuggling, um drawing, yes, a little of that, but most importantly, I’ve been busy having sex. WHAT? Don’t tell your mother that! Or my employment counsellor! Or my art-career mentors… what was I thinking? Well, actually, I wasn’t thinking… blissfully, I wasn’t thinking at all, I was forgetting about everything, everyone, everywhere, and just enjoying the moment… What? Too much information? Sorry… but how can you have a sex blog and not talk about actual SEX…
Okay… it’s out. I have sex. And I really like it. And because my lover and I do not live in the same city, it’s often all or nothing. But never nothing. We’re great on the phone. We’re great together. We have fun. There. I said it. Mom, I love sex. The funny thing is, my mom does too; she even told me it was “nice” when I was a little kid and she was reading me and my brother and sister story books about how babies are made. Even when I figured out what actual intercourse involved, in a physical sense, and proclaimed it “gross”, she was kind enough to tell me it was in fact “very enjoyable”.
So what made me such a prude? Why, with cool parents like that, why was I not immune to the guilt and shame so much of our culture carries about sexuality? I don’t know. I only know that in my mind, if there is love involved, it’s all good. I guess love is an easy word for me to use. Many might suggest that even if there is respect involved, it’s all good… but that wasn’t enough for me. There are alot of people I respect but I wouldn’t have sex with them.
And then there’s libido. Sometimes it’s like a raging wild horse, especially for b-o-y-s, but often for women too. And then other people don’t appear to be affected by theirs… and if you are in a situation where sex is not an option and-or barely even a possibility, somehow, we survive… we manage, we carry on. Ask a priest… it doesn’t completely disappear, you just get used to doing without. Like ice cream if you’re lactose intolerant.
Okay, I’m being obnoxious. Really, I don’t have much to say these days, I’m much too busy living fully through this period of a lack of lack. I am thinking about the new website… www.intimography.com. There’s nothing there yet but a logo with a tight-t-shirted model with large mammary glands, but we’re working on putting something up there soon.
Not alot of sites, blogs, etc. talk about intimacy when they talk about sex. That’s how I want this new site to be different. Lots of sex happens without intimacy but intimacy leads to the most beautiful experiences of sex. In my opinion… and yes, in my experience. Intimacy has many more manifestations than simply through sexuality, such closeness can happen between any two or more people in the world with getting “physical”. But because I feel that the human body has been exploited mercilessly through it’s vulnerabilities; apparent weaknesses like illness, nudity, and sexuality, that’s where I want to bring in a new “ography”… images of intimacy, of loving touch, of moments of closeness, of sharing, of difficulty perhaps, but of understanding. Once we get the new site up, we will send out a call to artists for this kind of images to share on the Web. In the meantime, here’s a reminder of an earlier call that asks for one form of this approach: http://www.victoriassketchbook.com/blog/intimite_photography/page005.htm.
Enough for today, I have other things to do… but I’ll be back. Love, Victoria
Society often reviles women who are seen as promiscuous, but ignores or even reveres the same “sin” among men. I believe this tendency is largely outdated in the modern world.
In a time when safer sex was not commonplace or perhaps even possible this social stigma had merit. If a woman were to sleep with many men and become pregnant she would likely become a burden to those who care for her. Most men would not accept and care for a child that was the result of casual sex.
If a woman is taking the proper precautions there is no reason enjoying casual sex should be frowned upon. With the use a birth control medication and condoms or diaphragms the risks of unwanted pregnancy and disease are reduced to the point that people would not look down on a person who was being careful but was unlucky.
Still many people who would not have an issue with premarital sex in a committed relationship are opposed to casual sex. It is rarely even the subject of rational thought because of preconceived notions. With that said I would be interested to hear moral objections that are not based on religion. I am speaking only of safer sex and not the serious consequences of unprotected sex.
Following are the bits that I highlighted in the chapter “Boundaries and Your Spouse” out of Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s book Boundaries:
~ One of the most important elements that promotes intimacy between two people is the ability of each to take responsibility for his or her own feelings… Feelings are also a warning sign telling us that we need to do something… Not dealing with hurt or anger can kill a relationship.
~ Desires are another element of person-hood that each spouse needs to take responsibility for… Your disappointed desire is what hurts you, not [your spouse doing XYZ]. The problem lies in who is responsible for the want. It is your want, not his. You are responsible for getting it fulfilled. That is a rule of life. We do not get everything we want, and we all must grieve over our disappointments instead of punish other for them… The truth is that neither one of you is selfish. You just have conflicting wants. This is what marriage is about – getting conflicting wants worked out… Problems arise when we make someone else responsible for our needs and wants, and when we blame them for our disappointments.
~ We are finite creatures and must give as we “decide in [our] heart to give” (2 Cor. 9:7), being aware of when we are giving past the love point to the resentment point. Problems arise when we blame someone else for our own lack of limits. Often spouses will do more than they really want to and then resent the other for not stopping them from over-giving… The key here is that the other person is not responsible for our limits; we are. Only we know what we can and want to give, and only we can be responsible for drawing the line. If we do not draw it, we can quickly become resentful.
~ The Law of Sowing and Reaping – Many times one spouse may be out of control and may not suffer the consequences of this behavior… Natural consequences are needed to resolve these problems… let the out-of-control spouses suffer the consequences of their actions… These moves are not manipulative, as the other spouse will accuse. They are examples of someone limiting how they will allow themselves to be treated and exhibiting self-control. The natural consequences are falling on the shoulders of the responsible party.
~ The Law of Responsibility – … taking responsibility for ourselves and having responsibility to others… People who set limits exhibit self-control and show responsibility for themselves. They act responsible to their partners by confronting him or her. Setting limits is an act of love in the marriage; by binding and limiting the evil, they protect the good… Instead of taking responsibility for people we love, or rescuing them, we need to show responsibility to them by confronting evil when we see it. This is truly loving our partner and the marriage. The most responsible behavior possible is usually the most difficult.
~ The Law of Power – We have looked at our basic inability to change another person… Accepting someone as she/[he] is, respecting [their] choice to be that way, and then giving [them] appropriate consequences is the better path.
~ The Law of Evaluation – When you confront your husband or wife and begin to set boundaries, your partner may be hurt… When you set boundaries, be lovingly responsible to the person in pain… Remember that a boundary always deals with yourself, not the other person. You are not demanding that your spouse do something – even respect your boundaries. You are setting boundaries to say what you will do or will not do. Only these kinds of boundaries are enforceable, for you do have control over yourself. Do not confuse boundaries with a new way to control a spouse. It is the opposite. It is giving up control and beginning to love.
~ The Law of Exposure – In a marriage, as in no other relationship, the need for revealing your boundaries is important… Passive way of showing people that they do not have control over you never lead to intimacy. They never educate the other on who you really are; they only estrange. Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions. They need to be clear and unapologetic. Remember the types of boundaries we listed earlier: skin, words, truth, physical space, time, emotional distance, other people, consequences. All of these boundaries need to be respected and revealed at different times in marriage… Physical Space – … your spouse should not have to guess why you do not want him around for awhile. Emotional Distance – … a hurt heart takes time to heal. you cannot rush back into a position of trust with too much unresolved hurt. That hurt needs to be exposed and communicated. If you are hurting, you need to own that hurt. Time – Each spouse needs time apart from the relationship… for self-nourishment… spouses need time apart, which makes them realize the need to be back together. Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other’s space and are champions of each other’s causes. Other People – Some spouses need the support of others to set boundaries… If you are too weak to set and enforce boundaries, get help from supporters outside your marriage. Consequences – … Spelling out consequences in advance and enforcing them gives your spouse a choice about whether or not he or she wants the consequences to happen.
~ A Question of Balance – … “Every marriage is made up of two ingredients, togetherness and separateness. In good marriages, the partners carry equal loads of both of those… They both do things on their own, and that creates some mutual longing for the other, and the togetherness creates some need for separateness.” … Balance… Every system tries to find balance in any way it can. And many dimensions need to be balanced in a marriage: power, strength, togetherness, sex, and so on. Problems come when, instead of trading places in these areas, one spouse is always powerful and the other powerless; one spouse is always strong and the other weak; one spouse always wants sex and the other doesn’t. In each case, the couple has struck a balance, but it is not a mutual balance.
~ Resolution – 1) Inventory the symptom… 2) Identify the specific boundary problem… 3) Find the origins of the conflict… No other relationship repeats parental conflicts more often than the marriage relationship. 4) Take in the good… We need bonding and support before we build boundaries… Do not set boundaries alone… Get help. 5) Practice. Practice new boundaries in safe relationships, relationships where people love you unconditionally… 6) Say no to the bad… 7) Forgive… Setting people who have hurt you free from an old debt is to stop wanting something from them; it sets you free as well… 8) Become proactive… Decide what your limits are, what you will allow yourself to be a party to, what you will no longer tolerate, and what consequences you will set… 9) Learn to love in freedom and responsibility. Remember the goal of boundaries: love coming out of freedom.
Pria seringkali tidak menyadari telah melakukan kesalahan ketika mereka berhubungan intim dengan pasangan. Kesalahan ini lebih banyak dipengaruhi sifat umum pria yang cenderung lebih egois.
1. Tidak mengatur suasana Mengatur suasana berhubungan intim memang tidak diperlukan seorang desainer. Tetapi merayu dan mencumbu pasangan akan lebih mudah jika Anda memberi dan meyediakan suasana nyaman. Rapihkan tempat tidur, buat lampu temaram dengan lantunan musik yang lembut sangat membantu menciptakan suasana romantis.
2. Menghentikan foreplay tiba-tiba Foreplay merupakan bagian penting sebuah hubungan intim. Tetapi sebagian pria seringkali menganggap foreplay membuang-buang waktu dan ingin tergesa-gesa melakukan hubungan intim. Foreplay ibarat makanan pembuka yang umumnya pasangan perlukan sebelum hidangan utama. Karena itu lakukan hal-hal sederhana seperti mengelus, mencium, membisikan ungkapan-ungkapan seksi sampai menyentuh bagian-bagian sensitif akan terasa sangat berbeda dan tidak akan pernah terlupakan.
3. Bergerak terlalu cepat Belajar menahan keinginan di tempat tidur akan membuat pasangan anda semakin terangsang, buatlah pasangan menginginkan anda lebih sehingga berujung pada luapan pengalaman seksual yang tak tertahankan. Belajarlah mengikuti diri sendiri dan menikmati setiap momen yang dilakukan tanpa terlewatkan. Anda dijamin akan merasakan kesenangan maksimal.
4. Mengabaikan bahasa tubuh Walaupun awalnya wanita terlalu malu mengatakan apa yang ia sebenarnya inginkan di tempat tidur, bahasa tubuhnya akan menjadi sebuah petunjuk. Karena itu perhatikan tanda-tanda yang ditujukan tubuhnya sampai ia merasa cukup nyaman untuk mengatakan secara verbal. Cobalah perhatikan bagaimana pasangan anda merespon sentuhan dan reaksi yang dilakukan. Jika anda melihat tubuhnya mulai tegang ketika disentuh, rubah sentuhan sehingga merasakan kesenangan yang lebih nyaman. Sebaliknya jika masih belum terpengaruh, inilah waktunya untuk meningkat volume sentuhan.
5. Berakrobat Sebagian besar wanita memiliki sisi petualangan dan ingin mencoba hal baru di tempat tidur. Cobalah mengenalkan posisi dan fantasi baru perlahan-lahan tapi pasti, mulailah dengan meminta secara halus, meningkat ke tingkat lebih tinggi sampai kenyamanan dan kepercayaan tertanam dalam hubungan.
6. Cuek pada pasangan Wanita umumnya tidak ingin diabaikan di tempat tidur (siapa yang mau?) karena ini akan membuat tidak nyaman dan bahkan marah. Ini biasa dilakuan pria saat telah mencapai ejakulasi. Jangan biarkan seperti itu, perlakukan pasangan anda seperti saat anda tengah bercumbu, peluk dan cium sehingga kehangatan tetap dapat ia rasakan.
7. Acting like a King Hubungan intim dimaksudkan untuk mencapai kesenangan dan kebebasan bukan ketidaksenangan dan ketegangan. Karena itu komunikasi menjadi sangat penting. Cobalah meminta dengan suara lembut, menyampaikan keinginan dengan mata atau menarik tubuhnya ke posisi yang nyaman dan lihat reaksinya. Pendekatan ini akan memberikan hasil menguntungkan dibanding dengan pendekatan komando.
8. Melupakan daerah sensitif Kenyataanya pria mungkin lebih tertarik langsung ke pusat daerah sensitif wanita dan cenderung lupa kalau tubuh wanita itu dipenuhi dengan daerah-daerah sensitif. Selanjutnya ketika anda berada di tempat tidur, cobalah mencium daerah punggung dimana bahu bertemu leher, usap sepanjang punggung sampai ke paha. Lakukan dengan lembut hingga ia merasakan sensasi luar biasa.
9. Menyimpulkan pasangan puas Hanya karena anda telah mencapai ejakulasi bukan berarti pasangan Anda puas. Ingat ada orang lain disamping anda karena itu berusahalah membuat pasangan anda senang dan memberikan hal yang sama.
My name is Max Filby and I’m a freshman at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio. OU is considered one of the nations top party schools and one of the most haunted places in America.
I am writing this blog in order to shed some light on what really goes on inside residence halls and what most students don’t want you to know about college life.
At the same time I am going to attempt to discover whether constant partying, sex and drinking or being an active and attentive student is what it really means to be a Bobcat.
University of Kassel, Germany, is for mediocre students only. Rape-attempter Prof. Dr. Christoph Scherrer refers to them as “average of the average.” In ‘global’ terms, however, they’re looked upon as the ‘dullest of the dull.’
Let’s describe a (mature student) graduate of the MA Global Political Economy (GPE) program at University of Kassel, Germany — a Mexican boy in his 30s; perhaps his name was Antonio Marquez? (They’re so insignificant you can’t even remember their names). This boy was working for the Mexican government before he got a scholarship from his government to study with the Nazis in Kassel. He was a bald boy, hunchbacked and very ugly. (His arse was being taken by Prof. Dr. Christoph Scherrer, which is why his back was bent out of shape). But, more importantly, this ugly Mexican boy was using the money he got for his scholarship to buy and sell drugs in Germany. He was a drug addict. And when he ran short of money, he begged around the university.
So if you want to become a drug addict and a beggar in your 30s, University of Kassel must be the right place for you.
Female graduates of the University of Kassel get jobs in photocopying shops, e.g. Nicole De Cuir of the MA Global Political Economy (GPE) program got a 5 Euro per hour job there. She’d wanted to join the brothel business in Germany, but Prof. Dr. Christoph Scherrer only organizes brothel jobs for Russian students. At other international sites Nicole has been described as somebody who’d spread her legs before every Tom at the same time as every Tom rejects her. She’s very ugly and eager. Her nick name at Kassel University is ‘Pubic Hair Girl.’ She, too, was an elderly sort of student. In her late 20s, but appearing as a 40-year-old because her smelly cunt was really tired.
Nicole De Cuir came from some tractor farm in Sacramento, California? (She’d never been to L.A.)
They also referred to her as “Blowjaw” in Germany, because her jaw was like a witch’s, and everybody knew she’d give free blowjobs to anybody that asks.
On Friday at 6pm PST Brandi is having her birthday party. Besides the usual festivity of little slave boys buying some nice gifts off her wish list. We will be holding her party in the Erotic Whisperz Chatroom there’s something for everyone this Friday Sept. 4, 2009. Remember to be there at 6pm PST or 9pmEST.
Our contest will be who can handle the most pain. The subbie who can handle the most, pain, and humiliation in the chat room will be awarded a free 15 minute call with an operator of his or her choice. The second place prize is a call at a reduced rate. So all your minutes on this call are a reduced rate. Third prize will be a 20 minute call you buy with 10 minutes added on for free. So we have some great prizes, and will be having a lot of fun.
this event is not to be missed, especially for those of you looking to really meet some great Phone Sex Vixens. At Erotic Whisperz we have a classy intelligent fantasy artist for every taste. If you have a fantasy, we have a girl.
Check out our newest addition Princess Keiko fluent in Japanese and English. Intelligent and witty, and of course beautiful. Make sure to read Keiko’s blog as well!!!! This post will be on Tonya, Taylor’s, Alex’s, and Keiko’s blogs! We want to make sure everyone knows about Brandi’s birthday! Don’t forget to make sure you spoil Mistress Brandi for her birthday. Remember it’s good Karma to spoil her. She’s your favorite cock tease!
All calls with me are billed at $2.25 per minute. International calls are $3.00 a minute. Orgy calls start at $4.00 a minute. We are now offering EROTIC TEXTING! Texting is $1.99 a minute for one girl, if you would like a texting orgy please contact me or any of the other lovely ladies of Erotic Whisperz.
So on Sunday, I went on a date with Old Greg. I know that you’re wondering why I would, I mean after all, he’s Old Greg. But for some reason or other, I may not have been completely interested in him, but I’m always willing to give someone a second chance. I’m glad I did because Old Greg improved by a wide margin. He was so much less like Old Greg, and more like… someone I hadn’t met before. So, we went to the movies, and we saw some of the movie, but we really weren’t watching it because we were occupied with one another.
And after the movie, it was very late, and I stayed over at his place… again. And this time, when I was at Old Greg’s place, I wanted to stay. There were no love games… there was just passion, and kindness, and tenderness. I realized that first dates can be intimidating, especially if you meet a person you’re attracted to. While I was very attracted to Old Greg physically, physical appearance is not on the top of my list of the qualities of a man worth keeping. So I asked him why he was so different , and he wasn’t sure. But I think I know why.
Most people are nervous and even afraid of meeting new people. The question, “Will he/she like me?”, can make people incredibly insecure, as with the case of Old Greg, and then they revert to Old Greg behaviors in their desperation to please the other person. They try to sell the other person by advertising the qualities about themselves instead of just being who they are.
The second date is like a beacon of hope- the person obviously likes you enough to go on a second date with you, so the nervousness subsides; the “please like me” symptoms begin to fade. I really started to like Old Greg, and well, to be honest, the physical chemistry that we have helps a lot (he was seven inches long this time around… and my virginity is still in tact and will remain to be so for now). I didn’t think I’d say this, but maybe Old Greg is a keeper… but I’ll still be playing the field.
Outcome: Keep for now, but not gonna get hopes up
Dates Left: still 99 (dates with the same people don’t count)
