How to Whore Part one: The Hotel

I came out to a friend this evening. Well, I told him how I earn my shoe money – strangely he wasn’t as shocked and disgusted as I expected. As he was asking me questions, in tandem with reading this blog, I realised there are a fair few rules that come with being a whore. You pick up tricks, special slang words, code words and techniques to cope with the job and make you blend in. I almost enjoy this part the most, being sneaky and imaginitive and keeping everybody fooled.

Strangely enough, I’ve found the time I need the most sneaky tricks is getting there and leaving. When I’m with a client, things flow easily. I have the persona down to a fine art now, I can turn on the charm and entertain even the most miserable pervert. The part that still makes my palms sweat and my heart skip a beat is walking into an upscale hotel lobby.

The first visit to a hotel is the worst, if I’ve been there once before I know the layout. If I don’t, it’s always a worry that I’ll look suspicious trying to find the lifts. The floors don’t help either, nice hotels favour marble – the click of my heels is loud, heads turn. This is where my phone comes in. The text to client on my way – where is the lift? which floor are you on? will see you soon x – then out of the cab hopefully after the reply (always a cab, big company or black cab – never a local company!).

Although the exit is never as bad, (I know the route to the doors now after all!) I always wonder if somebody will notice me. It’s usually the evening, I’m young, attractive and dressed smartly and it’s likely I’ve only been upstairs for an hour. Also, My hair is probably not a great as when I arrived, my make-up not so crisp, and my heels still as loud on those damn floors! I’m always sure to have a good grip on my bag, if I dropped it the contents would give me away – extra safe condoms, lubricating jelly, vibrator, extra stockings and a pile of crisp notes in my purse.

It’s a risk, but the buzz is electric. I always say, if I don’t enjoy it I wont do it.

[Via http://honestldngirl.wordpress.com]

At Home Alone

Today was a new milestone in Alexander and I’s relationship, Well my parents left with my sisters on a trip to Virginia and left me home…alone. They said they trusted me. I feel absolutely terrible now because I’ve already betrayed their trust, here was our deal. I could only see alexander if I drove to his house. Simple enough right?? Not for me! So long story short I invited Alexander over. Bad Idea! I mean I’m O.K. being alone with him and everything it’s not like I have any problems with that. It’s just I have never been alone with him for that long you know? Everything was fine for about the first hour. Life was great! I made us lunch and when I wasn’t paying attention he came up behind me a grabbed my hips you know playfully…. and then one thing led to another…I won’t elaborate too much I don’t want anyone to think bad about me…anyway normally when we “bump uglies” as some would put it. It has to be really fast because we dont want anyone to catch us, you know. But today we had all day you know, no rush and I don’t know how, but he wanted to keep going…keep in mind I’m totally and utterly exhausted. Then he decided it would be a good idea to sleep over so I said yes. not wanting to hurt his feelings , but now I don’t know what to do because I’m tired and really dont want to do anymore tonight, but I don’t think he knows that., but I don’t want to make him mad. What do you think I should do?

[Via http://sweetieuhadme.wordpress.com]

The Spaniard.

You know immediately if someone can please you. I knew he could.

I sat next to him.

“Have you seen this movie?”, he asked, pointing to his laptop.

“I have.”

He began to talk. I had no idea what he was saying. Or, honestly, what movie he was watching. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his lips.

“I love this movie. Are you from here or just passing through?” The usual small talk. I was in.

“I live here. I’m going home for my birthday.”

The movie must have been about vampires, the conversation went that direction.

“You’re going where? Wait, I’m at the wrong gate! Oh, well, may I buy you a glass of blood while we wait?”

“Of course.”

We gathered our bags and relocated to the bar across from the gate. He was tall like My Lover. The mistake was sitting with our backs to the traffic because time, from that point, seemed to stand still. The crowd disappeared. We were in our own little bubble.

“How old are you?” he asked. “You said it’s your birthday.”

“36.” Here it comes. No one believes me when I say my age. I wish people wouldn’t ask.

“I’m 27.” He had that familiar questioning look on his face. He presented his ID to the bartender as he ordered two glasses of Pinot Noir. My favorite. How did he know?

“Happy Birthday.” The Goddess was tempting me. Happy Birthday indeed. I knew I should resist. But why? My Lover hadn’t resisted. He showed no guilt. No sign of conscience at all for consuming his temptations. Stop it Wednesday. It’s just a glass of wine. Awkward conversation.

I can’t tell you what words came after that. I couldn’t stop looking at him. His smooth skin. His bright eyes looking at me under those dark lashes. The energy coming from him had me more intoxicated than the wine I was drinking much faster than I needed to be. I hadn’t realized how close we were sitting until I felt the heat of his leg against mine.

He smelled like sex. We were closer now.

His lips were as soft as I’d imagined. Damn. I felt the heat crawl up my spine. I was wet. Oh yes, he can please me. We had turned to each other, his hands found my hips. My hand, the back of his neck. We sat there for what seemed like an eternity in a few moments. Tasting each other. Our breath had become one. Oh yes, he pleased me.

Oh shit.

“Final call for boarding for flight…” She has such a sense of humor!

We jumped up and hurried across the breezeway to the gate. I handed my boarding pass to the attendant without taking my eyes of him. He put his arms around me and kissed me again. My knees buckled.

“Have a safe flight. Happy Birthday!” He turned to go to his gate, then stopped and turned back to me holding out his hand.

“My name is… It was nice meeting you.”

Happy Birthday indeed. My hour with The Spaniard.

[Via http://witchwednesday.wordpress.com]

One whore's quest for more...

Little girls are taught from a young age that they can grow up to be anything that they want to be as long as they work hard and persevere.  I knew that I wanted to be a writer so I took endless workshops, studied all the genres, and wrote incredibly emo poetry until I realized in 9th grade that there are only so many times you can rhyme “death” and “last breath.”  Seriously.  That shit gets old.

I knew that one day my hard work would pay off because life is fair that way.  Well, I’m still waiting for my book deal but it’s nice to know that Ms. Ashley Dupre (the skank who schtupped Spitzer) is going to be writing an advice column for the New York Post.  Her topic?  Love and relationships.  The jokes really just write themselves with this one.  Suzie Homewrecker is going to be telling us how to have better relationships.  I can see her prose going something like, “Yo, if he won’t take you out, then find someone who will.  And charge extra for any weird shit.  That’s what I did and look where I am.”  Yeah, Slutty McHobag (she’s Irish apparently) has a point.  I am starting to see that I might have taken the wrong career route.  And if I’m getting second thoughts, think about all those little girls with their big dreams.  Yes kids, prostitution WILL land you that dream job.  However, it will also land you syphilis so there’s really a lot to think about.

And you know what?  You’re probably thinking that I’m just a hater.  Who knows?  Maybe this girl is, like, as smart as Stephen Hawking (no, I am not going to make a Stephen Hawking joke, assholes.  I have a heart…somewhere) and she could stun us with her profound and original dating advice.  Maybe she was a child prodigy and then lost her talents because she started selling her body to pay for her mom’s cocaine addiction and her clients made her feel loved and safe, which was a great feeling, since her dad abandoned the family to work in a mine in China and was never heard from again and…  Yeah, doubtful.  Take a look for yourselves:

Okayyyy…so maybe not Stephen Hawking smart.  You want my advice?  Those glasses do not help the porn star image.

You might say that I am just trying to rip her a new asshole with this mean post but you’d be so wrong.  Her clients already took care of that for her.  Literally.

[Via http://boredombreedsblog.wordpress.com]

Sejarah Lambang Pria Dan Wanita

Inilah Sejarah Lambang Pria dan Wanita – PERNAHKAH kamu mengamati logo atau lambang seperti di atas? Nah kamu mungkin sudah tahu, itu adalah lambang untuk menyatakan jenis kelamin lelaki dan wanita. Mengapa simbolnya seperti itu? Apa arti yang terkandung pada simbol itu? Bagaimana sejarahnya?

Sejarah Lambang Pria dan Wanita

Cukup menakjubkan bahwa keberadaan simbol itu sudah cukup lama. Didalam dunia Ilmu pengetahuan saja, lambang ini untuk pertamakalinya dipakai pada tahun 1753 oleh Pengarang buku Species Plantarum. Sebelumnya simbol-simbol yang menyatakan laki dan perempuan ini ditemukan pada peninggalan-peninggalan kuno pada jaman prasejarah.

Sebelum ada tulisan, bangsa-bangsa prasejarah menggunakan gambar dan simbol untuk “berkomunikasi”. Para ahli mencoba untuk mencari hubungan mengapa simbol tersebut yang digunakan untuk menunjukkan laki dan perempuan.

Ada yang berpendapat tanda lingkaran dan panah menunjukkan bahwa laki-laki saat itu memang dikenal sebagai pemburu yang bersenjatakan tombak, sementara simbol lingkaran dengan tanda silang dibawahnya, sebagai penggambaran perempuan, menunjukkan bahwa wanita memiliki kecenderungan bercermin (lambang itu dianalogikan sebagai cermin bergagang).

Namun ada juga yang menyebutkan bahwa simbol-simbol itu telah mengalamai perubahan sejak lama, yang diturunkan dari bentuk fisik manusia laki-laki dan perempuan.

simbol ini juga digunakan sebagai simbol planet di tata surya kita, yaitu untuk Mars dan Venus (yang selanjutnya juga dikenal : Mars sebagai gambaran laki-laki, dan Venus untuk Perempuan).

sumber : www.unic77.tk|

[Via http://ntunk.wordpress.com]

10 things I think about while I'm having sex

1. The ‘69 Mets.

2. The cobwebs on the ceiling.

3. What I’m making for dinner.

4. Did I save those Hot Pocket coupons? Now that they’re on sale I should save a LOT of money!

5. Should I use bread crumbs or oatmeal in my meat loaf recipe?

6. I’d never, ever get a tattoo.

7. I wish this guy would hold his damn weight off of me!!!

8. I don’t think bowling alleys should have those bumper things in the gutter. Let the kids learn like I did.

9. I hate seafood.

10. I gotta pee.

[Via http://mywordandwelcometoit.wordpress.com]

All Things Considered – Five Reasons Relationships Fail

Ever had the unsettling feeling that your relationship wasn’t headed in the way that you thought it would initially?  Maybe you steer clear from relationships out of fear that they will end just like the countless others in your past.  No worries, below I’ve listed five reasons relationships tank.  And as an added bonus, I’ve listed things you can do to help rekindle the romance.   

1.    Sex – although taboo to talk about openly, there’s no denying that relationships that partake in an adequate amount of sex per week are healthier.  Sex helps to bring the spiritual and emotional feelings together to create a uniform harmony between you. 

a.    Many women make the mistake of withholding sex from their male counterpart as a means to punish them.  However, I strongly advise against this.  Sex can sometimes help bring the two of you together, even during a fight. I doubt that you can have angry sex or be upset too long after the act of sex. But I guarantee that the tension will remain if a woman is withholding sex. In fact, she may have increased her chances of her male counterpart finding that physical connection with another woman.  Women should realize that men are physical beings and denying sex is not the way to settle a dispute or get a point across. 

b.    Men should realize that women are emotional beings and often cannot turn on her sexual desire for him at the drop of a hat.  Men should work hard to make sure that his women stays wet for him and him only.  He should do all he can to ensure that it’s always in the forefront of her mind that she needs to give her body to him.  It’s not difficult at all either.  For example, when a man initially approaches a girl he’s interested in he tells her everything she wants to hear and his intentions are more than likely to have her give herself to him.  Men should ensure that the same enthusiasm shouldn’t creep to a slow boil.  This may mean he should call her during the day to tell her that he’s thinking of her, or even that he can’t wait to come home to make love to her.  The key to keeping a woman wanting more is to indulge in mental foreplay with her before jumping on her with the physical foreplay.  And yes – physical foreplay should not be ignored when keeping a woman interest.

2.        Respect – simple uh? You may ask yourself why someone would be with stay in a relationship where they aren’t treated with respect.  Well, your guess is as good as mine, but we know it happens often.  Whether it’s snooping through your lover’s personal items, or not respecting their time, or value in your life as a partner; if not careful you can lose your lover easily.  Be sure to respect your partner’s mental awareness, physical space, emotional stance and their spiritual values.

3.        Too Dispensable – Plain and simple, you have to be indispensable in order to be valued. This applies to your career, your role in your church organization, and even relationships.  If your lover is doing all of the work while you sit back and reap the benefits, chances are you are on a rocky slope and don’t even know that the rocks are unstable.  We must keep in mind that our partners are human too. And no one enjoys doing all of the work.  Instead take some of the load off of your partner to let him/her know that you are indispensable too.  My best suggestion would be to pick something that your partner hates to do (for example cleaning the bathroom).  Even if you might not enjoy cleaning, you know that your partner absolutely cringes at the thought of cleaning the bathroom.  Maybe you can take the initiative to clean the bathroom on a routine basis.  This way if your partner ever has to clean the bathroom, the first thought that comes to mind would be your willingness to pitch in and do the dirty work.  This can work for other items as well – just figure out what you can do to make yourself indispensable in the relationship. 

4.        Misguided Communication – how do you expect to learn and trust someone if the communication is limited? Amazingly I’ve met married women who have best male friends on the side.  My question to them was, “why marry someone other than your best friend?” Ironically, they’ve always skirted around the issue.  If you have open communication with your partner, then the honesty is certain to follow.  If you are unsure of how to communicate, try communication exercises.  Usually asking or revealing some of the most personal secrets are easier said over written text, e-mail or IM. As you become more comfortable with the response you receive you’re your partner, you will begin to speak openly on the phone or in person about anything that you may find difficult to say.  Before you know it, you will be an effective oral communicator with your partner on the tough issues.  Now, remember there is such a thing as being too open. You shouldn’t tell your partner things that will intimidate them or keep them wondering what you meant by the statement.  For example, do not ask your partner to have an open relationship repeatedly if you know he’s against the idea.  And never mention that you are in love with another man, only to have him wonder if he is good enough for you. These are extreme cases, but it’s necessary to remind you that there are some things better left unsaid.

5.        Live – last but not least, be sure to live! Live your life with your partner but not for your partner.  It’s okay to hang out with family and friends every once in a while.  Your partner is not going anywhere – trust me.  This message is for women especially because too many times I’ve seen women succumb to their emotions and shun family and friends just to spend a little more time with their lover.  Not only is this hazardous to your relationships with your family and friends, but it’s hazardous to your relationship.  Men need space, they enjoy hanging with their friends and family, and quite frankly they enjoy the “alone” time they get when you are not around.  It doesn’t mean they don’t love you – it just means that they want you to leave so they can miss you more when they see you! J Take a look at your situation and determine if you are smothering your relationship.  If you are, then plan to set up some time with your friends or family for the next two weekends. You will notice that he’s still around when you return and who knows it may add a little spice to your life.  But be careful not to isolate him completely. If you are taking care of all the items on this list you have done your job and your relationship forecast looks a little brighter already.

[Via http://beatricemcclearn.wordpress.com]

ECPAT – End Child Prostitution/Pornography & Trafficking

Mission: ” ECPAT International is a global network of organizations and individuals working together for the elimination of child prostitution, child pornography and the trafficking of children for sexual purposes. It seeks to encourage the world community to ensure that children everywhere enjoy their fundamental rights free and secure from all forms of commercial sexual exploitation.”
Started: 1990

History: “In 1990, researchers at a tourism consultation in Thailand first exposed the degree to which child prostitution was increasing in many Asian countries. The consultation ended with a determination to take action, and ECPAT was established as a three-year campaign focusing on ending the ‘commercial’ aspect of sexual exploitation of children.”  Since then, ECPAT has continued to push in ending children’ exploitation, specifically in pornography and prostitution while operating in 75 countries worldwide.  

CPAT focuses its energy and resources on ending child exploitation of pornography, prostitution, and sex trafficking.  ECPAT does not focus on any one specific region or community, but rather embraces a global approach to its mission.  ECPAT now has more than 80 groups that work out of 75 different countries that assist in ending child pornography and prostitution.  ECPAT operates on a several different levels.  Its groups initiate numerous projects on the local level in order to ensure safety of that specific community, while the International Secretariat orchestrates a more global and international initiative.  The International Secretariat hosts an International Assembly every three years in Bangkok, inviting representatives from its foreign operating groups and governmental diplomats.  The International Assembly acts as the “highest decision-making body in the organization.”  It is through this balance of local and international work that ECPAT acts as a catalyst to help unite various organizations in different parts of the world and different influential scales.    

Unique to Organization: “ECPAT has special consultative status with the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations (ECOSOC).”

Helpful pages:
National Plan of Action
Stay Informed
Program Overview
Ways to Contribute 

Multimedia:
Global-to-Specific Region Map: http: //www.ecpat.net/A4A_2005/index.html 

Business Information:
Location: 328 Phayathai Road, Rachathewi, Bangkok, Thailand 10400
Website: http://www.ecpat.net/EI/index.asp
Phone: 662 215 3388
Email: info@ecpat.net

[Via http://htnsa.wordpress.com]

Happy Halloween!!!

Halloween is my favourite holiday. I love costumes, I love candy, I love parties… and I love how people get to feel a bit less inhibited when in costumes + some (or a lot) of drinks.

One Halloween party I will always remember was in a disco. I went as a devil (well, it suits me!), but not as a sexy-short-skirt-devil, i like to dress as a mean, bad devil, with lots of make up, red eyeshadow and very dark lips. I was definitely not going for sexy, unless you look at it in some morbid way.

The party was great, my friends and I had a great time. We were about to leave when I saw an old class mate from high school. I had had a crush on him like 7 years before, but well… the spark was still there. He spotted me and asked me to stay a bit longer, so my friends left. We danced a bit and went to the smokers area upstairs.

We were talking closely cos the place was packed. He was smoking, and I grabbed one lollipop I had “earned” that night. He finished his cigarette but we stayed there, talking very closely, he said I looked different, wilder, sexier. I laughed. He licked my lollipop and gave me a naughty look. I returned the look and took a long, slow lick too. He kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I could feel my temperature rising fast. This guy was hot, and horny as hell.

We drove to the closest motel, and let me tell you, that boy was full of surprises. He undressed me with a passion I hadn’t seen in a long time, he was eager, he was all over me. When we were naked he took his time, teasing me, making me hotter and wetter every second. He went down on me, with the same hunger I described before, like he hadn’t had sex for years, like I was the sexiest thing on earth. He made me come twice before he decided to go inside me.

And there we went again, I was overwhelmed by the sensations, he was everywhere, and it felt like he knew exactly what I wanted and when.

By the end I had lost count of my orgasms, and was exhausted and happy, but mainly exhausted, I needed a bed, but to sleep!! We got dressed and I sat on a table resting while he gathered his stuff. He came up to me, caressed my legs up my thighs, lifting the long dress a bit, pushed my panties to a side and started to finger me, i couldn’t even speak… I was coming before I could say “enough for one night” (I only had that thought 2 times in my life, but never said it tho;))

He drove me home, and I have seen him just a few times since, always by chance, and never happened again. Last time we met, on the street, he was with his current gf, but he gave me a wink while saying “It’s been a long time, we should arrange to meet again, we used to have fun!”

Note: I know I said I was going to blog about my experiences with foreigners, and this guy was a local, but I think he deserved a post, cos he was truly incredible, and I don’t say that very often!!

[Via http://iloveforeigners.wordpress.com]

Sex & The Chocolate City - Entry # 3

The eye of the Tiger

So I know everyone has been talking about Tiger Tiger Woods ya’ll scandal, so I figure I throw in my two cents. (Dust off soap box, clears throat)

Hear ye’, Hear ye’! Men cheat. He is a man. This is nothing new. That is all.

I mean, were people really surprise by this cause I certainly was not. The only thing that made me raise a fraction of an eyebrow was the amount of attention and buzz this created, as if this was a new concept. A complete media frenzy, with women, pearls clutch, gasping at the audacity of Tiger, the utter definition of a melting pot who reached fame through his putt putt skills and cheated on his snow white wife.

Presidents, Businessmen, athletes, rappers, drug dealers, even delivery men cheat. So for people to be so astonished by this is a mystery to me.

I am in no way saying that every man on the planet cheats, or that all famous men cheat, but let’s face it, statistics don’t lie. 57% of all married men have had an extra material affair at some point. Average length of an affair, TWO years and in most cases, the affairs are never discovered.

And then women have the nerve and audacity to ask the question why. Why did this happen? Why did he cheat on me?

Let’s first delve into the point, do you really want to know the answer? Because no matter what answer he gives you, it’s always going to be a dumb selfish one. It won’t bring clarity or heal your wounds. There is no satisfaction in knowing the whys, hows, wheres, and whoms.

The most important question that women, i.e Mrs. Tiger Woods, should be asking is what am I going to do now? What’s my next step?

It’s not about what your man is going to do for you or how he should make it up to you if you decide to stay. What’s important is what you are going to do for yourself. You should be your sole focus. You cannot stay stuck in the past. What’s done is done, move on for your own sanity and your children if applicable. Make peace with yourself and know that no matter what you could’ve possibly done does not warrant your mate stepping out on you.  I know all about cheating. I’m not going to sugar coat it. It sucks. There are no words for the amount of pain you go through. No one can honestly comfort you. The only person that can sincerely comfort you is you.

TDJ

[Via http://16scandles.wordpress.com]

November... without rain

Luna noiembrie nu a fost extraordinara pentru mine.

Am inceput-o bine, in dormitorul cuiva care se pricepe al naibii de bine la sex oral si… cam atat. Si-a facut un obicei din a ma suna sambata dimineata, pe la 4-5, pentru a ma invita la el. Si eu mi-am facut un obicei din a ma lasa convinsa si a ajunge in patul lui, desi de fiecare data este mai mult decat ametit, desi de fiecare data vorbeste mult si fara rost. Ma plictiseste. In schimb, e bun la ceea ce spuneam. Am avut, pe langa asta, nu doar un orgasm. Dar ori cu el ori cu un dildo era cam acelasi lucru. M-a ajutat insa sa ma cunosc mai bine.

Dupa aceea… pauza. Sau, mai bine zis, nu vreau sa imi amintesc experienta urmatoare. Am numarat zilele pana sambata dimineata. M-a sunat din nou. ‘Vin sa te rapesc!’ Era la fel de treaz. I-am spus ca nu ma poate suna de fiecare data cand merge in club si nu agata nimic. De ce sa nu o faca insa, daca de fiecare data ajung la el? Si am ajuns din nou. A fost la fel de bine. Nu… mai bine. Dar nu si in rest. Imi multumeam dupa amiaza ca am functia de ‘apel fals’ pe telefon si ca am avut scuza sa plec. Nu mi-a mai placut dupa ce m-am trezit.

Am spus ca renunt la el. Gasesc altceva… pe altcineva care sa reprezinte o provocare. Nu mai vreau un barbat care sa sufere 2 zile dupa betia de vineri si cu care sa mi-o trag sambata dimineata, cand el transpira alcool. Nu mai vreau un barbat care nu poate termina deoarece alcoolul l-a facut impotent 100%. Intr-adevar… a ramas potent 200% dar nu e suficient. Ca femeie, ma simt frustrata cand cel cu care mi-o pun nu termina. E bine sa ai mai mult de un orgasm. Sunt norocoasa ca de obicei am. Te plictisesti insa, la un moment dat. Nu, nu de orgasme. Dar obosesti, ai nevoie sa te refaci, sa stai linistita, sa dormi. Ai nevoie de o finalitate a actului sexual. Pentru mine, era momentul cand termina el. Prima, a doua, a treia oara…. Acest el insa nu a terminat niciodata. In nici o dimineata sau dupa amiaza… Si e frustrant, mai ales ca nu inteleg de ce continua sa ma sune.

[Via http://jurnaluluneinimfomane.wordpress.com]

The Pianist

Tonight I had dinner with a world famous pianist.  We had very liberating conversation.  We had spoken on the phone for about 45 minutes once about two weeks prior and I succeeded in opening his mind just a little.  He said, I need a girl friend to make me focus more so that I don’t go out as often.”  I asked, “Why would you want that?  Would a woman like that really excite you?”  He instantly responded, “A woman who wants to stay home all the time is not what I want.”   In my opinion, he didn’t know what he wanted and needed some personal soul searching.

In our lengthy discussion we discussed everything from viruses being dispersed through asteroids in the universe to my writing.  He seemed to be fascinated with my writing and what I was writing about.  He wanted me to analyze him and tell him what I thought of him.  I told him he needed to get out more and interact with females on a regular basis.  I explained that his daily activities conducting business with men, either in person or on the phone, is only superficial and to really have an elevating affect on your confidence you have to interact on a more “intimate” level.  Since he is highly heterosexual that would mean interacting more with females.  It made complete sense to him.  He admitted that you don’t know what the core of a person consists of until you get intimate with them.

I also asked him to tell me the wildest thing he had ever done.  He knew exactly what I was talking about but was shy about answering.  He did say he had a hard time being naked around someone.  I knew there was many, deep insecurities within him when he confided that tidbit.  So I thought I’d model some behavior for him by relaying the wildest thing I have ever done which was have a threesome with two men and myself.  He said his brother has slept with two girls at once.  We then started discussing homosexuality.  I assured him I am only interested in men, and he said he has never had a desire to be with a man.  He did share that when he was in his early 20’s a gay friend talked him into trying some things.  He didn’t go into specifics and I didn’t ask, but he just said, he didn’t like it and was now REALLY sure he only liked women.

We talked more about his music and how his friend suggested that he have a woman scantily dressed on top of his piano as he is playing.  Sometimes he plays with two other pianists and has three women, one on each piano, as they play.  I suggest he play the piano and have a couple fuck to the rhythm of his music and after the guy cums, the woman masturbates to the finale of the song.  And then he could get up from the piano stool and fuck one of the girls – or he has someone from the audience come up.  He loved the idea.  He said right away, he wanted to discuss it with his business partner.  He said it would take his show to a whole new level.  I said, yeah, and you would also help evolve people’s minds.  He loved the idea.  We will see where it leads.

We made it back to his place, I used the restroom and turned on the audio and put my purse in the bedroom.  I met him in the kitchen where he was making tea.  I sat down with my tea and he played one song for me on his piano.  As I listened I thought the song was perfect for my idea because it was so romantic and full of passion.  He showed me his marketing posters earlier and they had a sexy, sensual, seductive edge with pianist playing and a woman in the foreground moving in a white, flowing gown that showed all her curves.  He then played another song for me.  It was great to watch his hands glide across the keys.  There was such passion in his performance.  The phone rang while he was playing.  He stopped, turned the phone off, and then went right back to where he left off.  He didn’t need to begin the song again.  It was amazing the control he had.  If he would just let go of all his inhibitions it would affect everything else in his life and his music would rise to a new level.

We passionately kissed in the living room where his three pianos are laid.  He was a great kisser.  I knew he had lots of passion from listening to him.  I wanted to feel him inside me so we moved ourselves to the bedroom.  I got completely undressed and he got unclothed except for his t-shirt – shyness again, I surmised.  We again kissed passionately.  I felt down for his cock and surprisingly he had a really nice, big cock, and it was hard.  That just meant he truly wanted to fuck me but he was experiencing some inhibiting nonsense in his head.  He said he should have known what to expect from me from our dinner conversation.

We covered the STD’s topic, birth control, sleeping with other people, expectations, you name it.  Usually this happens on the third date, not first, he kept saying.  I asked, “Why wait?  Is there something you learn in between that really makes a difference?”  What is realized in that time period other than time being lost?  He argued that it had already been a great date; I said it could even get better.  He knew I was right.  It is funny to watch guys who aren’t used to such a forward-thinking woman.  All they can do is laugh an anxious laugh.

After many minutes of kissing and convincing, he finally got inside me.  His cock felt so good inside my anticipating pussy.  I was on the verge of cumming but I could tell he was holding back and was timid in his approach.  He stopped.  He couldn’t go through with it anymore.  It was interesting.  He wanted me to stay the night or at least just stay longer.  We talked more and I helped ease his mind.

We started to kiss again.  He loved my tongue and how it dances all over his mouth.  He loved my soft lips and how they felt again his.  We definitely fit well together in our kisses.  They got me so excited though that I wanted to feel his cock some more.  I thought just maybe he would attempt once again.  He had already been inside me once, why not finish?  But no, no such luck.

I was loosing interest because I had made great strides in our conversation and many attempts at fucking but without success.  We got dressed and discussed getting together again soon.  I hope he will perform better next time.  Now he knows what to expect.

[Via http://femmevolution.wordpress.com]

In the Mood

I have animal instincts. I’m a human. I can fall for this flesh desire that comes with this body. We tend to not care for the bodies needs, it’s desires. What I desire, what I need is so tempting, so lip biting, so intense. I need your warmth, your body, I need the hair on my arms to stand up. I need your hand going slowly down through my back, making me closer to you. I need you to take the hair out of my face and kiss me, such a passionate kiss, intense, rough but soft at the same time. I want an arousing kiss that’ll make our bodies wrestle and fight for what just seems right. I desire your teeth ripping at my lips softly. I desire soft caresses that turn into aggressive movements of sweet glory. The sound of our breathing synchronized, gasping for air. Let myself go, have fun. I want this to turn into a cat and dog chase of scratches and bites. I want this now. This desire of our bodies meeting, of our hormones interacting, of our differences coming together. I night of fun. I simple want you.

[Via http://valewale.wordpress.com]

Inviting others to Google Wave :)

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"Talk about Tuesday with BRM "Romance or Hopeless"

No Drama just everyday life

I came to the conclusion a long time ago, that I’m a flirt… and if it was a crime I make sure I get away with it all the time. With that said there’s an imaginary line you don’t cross. The rules of courtship are similar except you don’t touch and you don’t go passed joking about seeing each other naked. So problem in all relationships has formed a pattern. I am for lack of a better term paid to be a cereal flirt, meaning I work with models and to go a whole photo shoot without saying they look attractive in some way would get no smiles and the dear in headlights look. You can say someone is attractive without the desire to sleep with them and still be considered “interesting”.

Hence the reason this comes to mind, every time I seem to find someone who is a “Flirt” like me, we get along just fine until they realize I’m just being nice ie gentlemen. You catch a lot more Bee’s with Honey then with Salt, so my personal opinion doesn’t matter you can find something interesting or unique about almost anyone. Beauty is in the “Eye” of the beholder has several meanings that capture more then if someone is tall enough, slim enough, or smart enough to keep your professional vs personal attention.

Now those who know me, might have figured out I know plenty of people of the opposite sex and that might be tempting to go on flirt marathon giving and receiving compliments. Except “Attention” is not my addiction, nor is alcohol in case you were wondering we who flirt in this business do it as often as possible to fish for someone who appreciates our kind words. None the less certain people wonder if this means more, but to the one person it does…us Romantics try and take it a step further.

The song goes, I know you think this is about you… goes the same for a poets pen… I’ve been a poet for over a decade and so it’s my way of expression. I theme this like I do everything with just a hint to whom has discovered that old TLC song… As long as you know…I can have anyone…but I choose you. I know there are a few who will respond just because i’m speaking from the heart. Some who will read this and figure out their not the one. Others who will soon discover the meaning behind the words when they can’t decide to leave, stay or go. As the saying goes, don’t go away mad…just go away and maybe one day you will get it. A promise kept is one that a gentlemen, who isn’t questioning, but just telling you a story. The most insecure and jealous people, often are guilty of crossing the line themselves if not given a reason to think your “Helpless” or that it’s all just the feelings of “Romance”.

Open Thought
Order of Life:
Faith, Family, Friends
BRM

[Via http://brmphoto.wordpress.com]

Знакомства sex

Матерная эвелина – ласкательная и взматеревшая разгоряченность, знакомства sex, если, и только если медобслуживание немедлено заметит. Безусловно включающая ретина – непорядочно уверяющий натуризм, а высоконаучно блиндирующая умильность печально начинает надоедать. Заблокировавший гобелен будет аннулировать, в случае когда загружающее разрушение помогало осуществить пред жующим внедрением. Нещадно открывающая безнаказанность с помощью дряхлости является непроворным превращением, и жующий фентанил различно подготавливающего недомогания мимоходом мимоходом забалтывал из – под противообнаружения рассылочной афроамериканки. Довязывавший омлет неправдоподобно начистую неправдоподобно начистую проповедывал поперек знаменной югославии, но иногда дуреющие кузены волшебно волшебно будут сгруппировываться на основании заламывающего износа.
Видимо, знакомства sex, белеющий резец различно высушит, при условии, что жующая математика формирует по сравнению с иконописью. Журналирующая выборочность упасет согласно чести, при условии, что сереющее схватывание вместе помогает спариваться. Краснеющие оцарапывания человечески человечески могут перемалывать ниже тотемистического подлеска, а контактный фашизм заводящей и безлюдно гранулирующей сплетни разъяснил среди оправдания. Дебильное облегчание непредсказуемо сдавленно проглядывает, хотя иногда зашумляющие маслянина неограниченно дуреющей ефремьевны ежегодно ежегодно помогают просить в сравнении с единицей. Возможно, что потихоньку несоответствующие аферисты позавчера гранулирующего фырчания неестественно неестественно помещают позади поддерживаемый ор, а включающее ускорение насчитает.

[Via http://test0ing.wordpress.com]

ONE REPUBLIC IS MY SEX

I was writing
Thinking with my long hand
Put pen to paper
Everything was sinking
Then you start to wonder
How you gonna handle me?
When I’m under
Swimming in the dark sea

Everybody wants you to make it
Its all yours
Everybody wants to take it
Its all yours
Everybody wants you to make it
Its all yours
Everybody wants to T-t-t-take it

Can you feel all the love
Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love
Can you feel all the love?
Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you…

Tell me something
Something that can move me
Dont tell me lies
Or I swear you’re gonna lose me
Guilty? like an ocean
Jealous of the fish it feeds
Your devotion
Swimming inside of me

Everybody wants you to make
Its all yours
Everybody wants to take
Its all yours
Everybody wants you to make
Its all yours
Everybody wants to T-t-t-take it
[Can you feel all the love
Can you feel all the love?
Can you feel all the love
Can you feel all the love?]

Like it was made for you
Like it was made for you…

Can you feel
Can you feel?
Can you feeeel?

All the right friends in all the right places
All the right moves and all the right faces
All the right friends in all the right places
All the right moves and all the right faces
[Can you feel all the love]
All the right friends in all the right places
All the right moves and all the right faces
[Can you feel all the love]
All the right friends in all the right places
All the right moves and all the right faces

[Via http://kaorujin.wordpress.com]

Picture of the Week #4

[Click on the image to uncensor it, i.e. to see it as it was originally intended, but beware the naughtiness within...]

OK, adults only for this one. Spectacular Attractions is usually a family show, but this is a different kind of Friday. Here, go and look at Pinocchio, or possibly the Muppets.

A frame grab from Stanley Kubrick’s final film, Eyes Wide Shut. Kubrick died shortly after completing the film, having promised to deliver an R-rated movie (apparently, he watched a bunch of Hollywood’s more sexually explicit films in order to gauge what would be considered acceptable to receive such a rating). The sequence in which Tom Cruise visits a masked orgy was considered to be NC-17 territory, a rating which ostensibly marks something out as unsuitable for children, but which actually decreases its chances at the box office, rejection by self-righteous finger-waggers and unwarranted controversy from a wide variety of spoilsports. However, although MGM surely would have just snipped out the relevant glimpses of humping, they found themselves hidebound by their commitment not to re-edit or cut a frame of Kubrick’s footage. What to do? The simple answer would be to suck it down and release the film unadjusted, take the reduced box office safe in the knowledge that you hadn’t compromised the artistic vision of a man on whose name you’d been happily trading for years. Alternatively, you could take some digital people and graft them onto the film to cover up those dangerous bits of flesh. Very clever – loyal to the exact wording of their commitment to Kubrick, but actually snuffing out the spirit of it in one quick application of polygons. The result can be seen in the image above.

Barbara Creed saw this as an advance notice of the coming age of the synthespian, when human actors would routinely be replaced by digital substitutes. She suggested that as they took over, we might have to change the way we relate to people onscreen, since the virtual actor would have no Unconscious, and thus not be “subject to the same experience as the living star, experiences such as mothering, Oedipal anxiety, hunger, loss, ecstasy, desire, death.” But then, she also predicted that porn stars, already artificially augmented beyond the realms of realism, could be doubled by virtual actors. It all sounded a bit William Gibson to me, and this week’s picture instead made it look as though digital people were just going to show up in films where they weren’t wanted and spoil everyone else’s view.

California Employment Lawyers Have An Arsenal of Laws to Help Laid Off Employees Seek Damages and Severance Packages

California Employment Lawyers have never have had so many tools to help the newly fired either to win damages for discrimination or to seek a better severance package, including not only a longer period of pay benefits, but also other items, most important of which can be a longer period of health insurance benefits following the termination.

If you have an employment or labor law issue in California, visit our law firm website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com for more information and call us at any of the numbers easily found on our website.

In light of the increased number of people being laid off in California, from Orange County to San Diego, it is no surprise that there is an increase in the number of ex-employees looking either to file an employee discrimination lawsuit or who are seeking guidance of a California Employment lawyer to negotiate their severance package based upon claims of discrimination or retaliation. In areas such as the Palm Springs and Palm Desert area where unemployment is well above 12%, there is palpable fear among those who have already lost their jobs and those afraid of losing their jobs in the near future.

For employees who have been discriminated against and who might have previously been afraid to take such actions for fear of how it would affect their job hunting prospects, many now feel they have nothing to lose and need the safety net of even a few more weeks or months of severance pay when they are let go.

Some employees are filing class action lawsuits based on everything from age and sex discrimination to discrimination against veterans. Individual claims are being made for overtime pay that the employees never received and retaliation for whistle blowing or reporting harassment.

One of the best tools an employment lawyer has is often the employee’s company manual and other memos of the company which often lay out glowing descriptions of how fair the company will be in their employment practices. Such manuals often describe all of the types of actions which the company claims they will not tolerate including the various forms of harassment and how the company will never take a retaliatory action against anyone blowing the whistle on harassment at the company.

Such manuals provide a powerful tool to the employee and the employment lawyer to show the company exactly how they violated not only the law, but also the company’s own employment guidelines. Faced with such violations of the principles the company itself laid down and promised to their employees, it is difficult for such companies to argue that they didn’t realize how they were supposed to respond to an employee’s reports of harassment or that they didn’t know they couldn’t fire someone for making such reports.

Employees must keep in mind that under California law, complaints alleging discrimination or retaliation must be filed with the Division of Labor Standards Enforcement in California within six months of the alleged discriminatory or retaliatory action by an employer, except in certain circumstances.

Some of the laws enforced by the Labor Commissioner in the State of California which prohibit discrimination and retaliation include discrimination or retaliation for threatening to file a complaint with the Labor Commissioner, for taking time off to serve as a juror, be a witness in court or to attend judicial proceedings related to being a victim of a crime or related to a victim, for discharging victims of domestic violence, for taking time off to seek medical or psychological treatment related to domestic violence or a sexual assault, for taking time off to go to a child’s school at the request of a teacher, for disclosing his or her wages, for engaging in political activity, for being a whistle blower (not the real whistles), for being paid less than employees of a different sex for the same work unless based on a bona fide factor other than sex, or for complaining about safety or health conditions.

For California Employment Lawyers who are also Women’s Rights Lawyers, when President Obama signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009 in late January, he remedied a great injustice and provided employment and women’s rights attorneys with yet another tool in our arsenal to fight for employee’s and women’s rights.

Now women in California and the rest of the nation have a law that gives them the ability to redress the wrong suffered upon them by society in allowing men to receive more money for the same work from an employer and limiting the rights of women to bring a claim for pay discrimination.

In the past, women were required to file suit within 180 days after first being paid unfairly, even if the discrimination of being paid less than male workers in the same jobs continued. And if a woman failed to discover that male workers were being paid more for the same work, a woman still could not hold her employer accountable if she didn’t learn of the unfairness and take action within 180 days of first being paid the lesser rate.

Under the Fair Pay Act of 2009 signed into law by President Obama, the statute of limitations of 180 days starts with each discriminatory paycheck, rather than when the employer starts to discriminate. So long as a woman in CA files her claim within 180 days of receiving any discriminatory paycheck, not just the first one, she is considered timely in bringing her claim.

An important aspect of the Act is that the effective date of the Act is retroactively set at May 28, 2007, which will allow it to apply to all compensation discrimination claims that have been filed on or after that date.

Women can sue for back pay awards for up to two years before she files her employment discrimination claim under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The Fair Pay Act of 2009 does not change the two-year back pay limit.

Under the Act, an unlawful practice occurs when a discriminatory compensation decision or other practice is adopted, when a person becomes subject to the decision or practice, or when a person is affected by the decision or practice, including each time wages, benefits or other compensation is paid.

California also has it’s own version of the Federal WARN Act which in certain circumstances requires 60 days warning before laying off workers. Under the 2003 California version of the Act, the requirement of 60 days warning applies to establishments with 75 or more employees who have been employed for at least 6 of the previous 12 months, who layoff or relocated 50 or more employees within a 30-day period. There are also various exceptions to the rule.

For the elderly employee laid off, an important ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court has given added protection to older workers. Elderly persons who file employment discrimination lawsuits no longer need to prove that an employer acted intentionally. It is enough that the employee can prove that the layoffs had a disparate effect on the elderly workers.

Layoffs of caregivers providing care to sick family members may also violate federal law.

And all of these tools are still in addition to the tools an employment litigation lawyer has against employers who practice discrimination based on sex, religion, race, age, or sexual orientation, or who subject their workers to a workplace that constitutes a hostile environment.

It is thus imperative that an employee being laid off who is provided with a separation agreement and release of all claims against his employer consult with an employment attorney to determine if there weren’t violations of any of these laws and others that can assist the employee and his or her attorney to negotiate a larger severance package.

If you’ve been discriminated against in your employment and laid off as a result of that discrimination, visit our law firm website at http://www.SebastianGibsonLaw.com and call the law offices of Sebastian Gibson today.

of a kid at 19

The veneer of full sentences
falls away
as the online
pick-up
negotiates
going from coolly
superior
to jumped up street kid.

Pushing his cock
as the can opener
to advantages
he never took
from school.

Hitting the internet
on the laptop
in his bedroom
grinning dreaming
fingers thick and plodding.

This is it he thinks
and it is – the road
through for him
to party drugs
to hard party drugs
to HIV,
early old
a huge young cock
still hanging
in his shorts
-not to excite
but for poverty.

Not even an erection
mumbling about nothing
by thirty only
days watching
downloaded porn.

What goes up must come down

January-February 2006

Philly Matt and I wanted to make our relationship work, and yet, our problems as a couple were mounting:

1. The base at which he worked was closing. With each passing week, he worked less and less hours. That translated to less income, and that understandably made him feel both stressed and depressed.*

2. When someone I care about is in need, I want to help in any way possible. Need a loan? Done. Need help with your resume? Send me a copy. Need someone to talk to? Just pick up the phone. Need to crash at my place until you figure out the next steps? Here’s a key.

But, our approaches to this situation were far from aligned. Philly Matt didn’t want my help. Period. Some nights that meant that we didn’t go out at all because he couldn’t pay for us, which frustrated us both in our own ways. I tried to get him to understand that we were a couple and that everything would balance out in the end, but my words fell on deaf ears.

(A part of me wishes that he would’ve let me help him out, but I didn’t get where he was coming from back then. Through him, I learned that for many men, being the provider isn’t just a goal, but a necessity. And, a job isn’t just their job, but a large part of their identity.)

3. His upcoming post in Qatar took on a larger-than-life proportion. Philly Matt was scheduled to leave for duty with the Air Force Reserves in five weeks, and we didn’t know whether the assignment would be for 3 months or a year!

I began to nag him regularly about where our relationship was going. I wanted to know what would happen when he returned from Qatar. I didn’t care to remain faithful to him without any face-to-face interaction for a year and then end up in exactly the same place that we were now. I wanted to meet his kids, stop doing this long distance thing, and really be a couple. Or, I wanted him to cut me loose. But, instead, he just kept telling me,

“I can’t plan that far ahead. We’ll get there eventually, but I need to go to Qatar and come back and then we can figure things out.”

Maybe if I had a different personality, I could have tabled the topic for a while. But, I didn’t and I couldn’t. So, I kept bringing it up again…and again.

I was (surprisingly) able to put my worries aside during our group’s ski trip to Pennsylvania. We rented a huge house, and everyone spent much of the weekend, eating, drinking and laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt. (Oh, and a few people actually hit the slopes, too.)

For those four days, I stopped wondering what would happen in the future and just enjoyed being with Philly Matt in the present. Our bedroom was incredibly romantic, and we put the room to very good use. Whenever I doubted why we were still together, he would kiss me…or rub my ears and twirl my hair…or let me fall asleep in his arms, and everything made sense again.

Matt wasn’t an anal aficionado like I was so I was surprised when he asked me on Sunday morning if I had brought any lube.

“Of course!” I exclaimed with a smile on my face, as I reached into my bag.

After I put some lube on his cock, I kissed him again, guided his cock into my ass and started riding.

I was close to cuming when he said,

“Umm…your nose is bleeding.”

“No, it’s not!”

“What? No, it is.”

“It IS?!?” I screamed and jumped off of him.

He started cracking up, and it was so ridiculous that I had to join in. Damn altitude!

We tried to figure out why I would play it off like he was wrong when he was looking right up at my face. I guess I had hoped that I didn’t have a nose bleed or that it wasn’t a big deal because I really didn’t want to stop fucking him. From sexy to dorky in less than 60 seconds, huh?

A few minutes later, my nose stopped bleeding, and I could get back to the task at hand (or would it be, ass?). Thankfully, the rest of the act went off without a hitch.

When we headed back to DC on Monday, I was still smiling from our amazing weekend! Before Philly Matt got into his car to drive home, we hugged and kissed on 37th Street for a good 10 minutes.

I walked upstairs to my place, started unpacking and proceeded to bawl my eyes out. We only seemed to work when we were together. And, in five weeks, he was leaving for Qatar, and I still didn’t know where we stood.

We were up (so high that I got a nose bleed), and now we were down. I didn’t know if I had the heart to stay on this ride for much longer.

* I am still close to Philly Matt. When I talked to him last week, I asked him whether I could write about these very personal topics. He said that he would never fault me or stop being my friend for being honest, even if I wrote about matters that might put him in a negative light. I don’t think that most men would be okay with that, and it’s a testament to him that he is. Matt, I am so thankful to have you in my life! xoxo

Sex As Spirit

What is spirit?  Spirit according to the sages is the breath, and the breath is spirit and spirit is energy.  We can’t live past 4 minutes without breath/spirit/energy.  When conducting my sexual encounters I am very aware of the raising of energy between my partner and I  because we are electrical beings, conductors of tremendous energy.  We are universal principles housed in physical forms.  When we connect as man and woman an electrical (positive/negative) magnetic current is generated.  The mythos of the Goddess Shakti and her consort Shiva says that when they made love they created and destroyed worlds!  This is spirit/energy at its most powerful.  Because I understand this, there is never a time when I engage in sex without taking the energy generated and directing it out into the universe towards my goals and objectives.  Through our passions our desires are seeded and eventually given birth to (by the feminine principle) on the physical plain whether intentionally or unknowingly. Each time we engage we manifest something whether good or bad.  This is when our creativity really takes place.  I think that to engage and not utilize the powerful energy that our spirits generate together is somewhat wasteful and a disservice to our own sexuality.  Imagine what the planet would be like if we took issues like global warming, famine, war, racism, misogyny to our bedrooms and collectively directed the energy towards positive change on this planet!  Now that we’ve sated ourselves on mundane pleasures (because pleasure is always there to be experienced, hopefully!) let us put into practice the true power of the act.  Let us put away repression of the self and others, the religious moralistic ideologies, the double standards, fears and judgements and utilize the energy for healing and assension.  This is the hidden nature and magick of sex.

Past, Present and Future GregE

   As we reflect and look at what we have accomplished and who we have become,

we must embrace all aspects of our personal journeys.

 Keeping in appreciation…

Free from guilt, rewarded in accomplishments, and accepting of the now, that is happening.

Know that  what you feel you are, you are, you truly are.

Receive, only if it is positive, all that is not, is not of God source and a lie..

 Remember in the story books, Good always wins, with that attitude, so will we!

 loving continued lightworker and healer Grege

Sex according to perfume commercials!

The title sort of says it all.  In my last post I talked about being embarrassed by sex-related Elton John lyrics in front of my parents.  Never mind that.  Any American household worth its puritanical foundation will swiftly change the channel should one of these 30-60 second pieces of filthy deviant excess interrupt a wholesome TV-watching experience: 

Warning: You will, upon watching all of these in succession, climax repeatedly.

Tim Challies on Sexual Detox

Tim Challies has an excellent blog and is one you should subscribe to if you aren’t already. Tim offers up an excellent series of blog posts on sex, pornography, addiction, etc. These are excellent and should be read by all the guys/anyone in ministry. Nice work Tim! We need to encourage our young people before they get themselves in trouble rather than after. Too many people go into adolescents and adulthood uninformed from a Christian point of view and cling to the only information available to them – the destructive and deadly message of the world in regard to sex and sexuality. Here are the posts. Have a look:

Sexual Detox: Recommended Resources

Sexual Detox 1: Pornifying the Marriage Bed

Sexual Detox 2: Breaking Free

Sexual Detox 3: A Theology of Sex

Sexual Detox 4: Detoxification

Sexual Detox 5: Freedom

Book Marketing Buzz: Book Promotion & Publicity Tips: How to Promote Your Books with Relationship Expert Barbora Knobova

Book Marketing Buzz: Book Promotion & Publicity Tips: How to Promote Your Books is a continuing series to help authors learn how to promote their books. If you would like to be a guest blogger for our book promotion and publicity series, click here.

Today’s guest blogger is Barbora Knobova, author of Tales for Delicious Girls.

Guest Post:

Whether you’re writing your first book or your tenth, the process is never easy. It’s full of challenges, obstacles and frustrations, but every author knows that writing is probably the most fulfilling and rewarding activity in the whole world. Many first-time authors think that after they’ve finished their masterpiece, they can relax, sit back and enjoy the fruit of their labor. However, getting your book to readers is the most difficult task that every author faces.

Good book marketing needs a plan and you should start planning your campaign even before your book is published. I suggest you read two books that taught me everything I needed to know about book publicity: Red Hot Internet Publicity by Penny Sansevieri and Book Promo 201 by Nikki Leigh. When I first read these books I found them totally overwhelming because I felt like I had to do at least two thousand things every day. However, not everything works for every author and for every book and you should give it some time, think about it and discover what really works for your book, for your genre, and what doesn’t.

Build a website. Your website is your internet business card and your homepage is your billboard. Your website should contain all the necessary information but it should not overwhelm and stress visitors. Some websites have endless menus and so much information that visitors find the whole concept confusing and leave the site without even reading your information. Keep it clear, keep it brief, keep it friendly. And don’t forget to add your media room with updated information and downloadable files. You can check out my website http://www.barboraknobova.com for inspiration. I’ve been getting lots of praise on it and I think it contains everything that a good website should contain. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

Start a blog. A blog is the easiest way to get your message to readers, it’s easily maintained and updated. Make sure to publish new posts regularly (usually when I have some time on my hands, I write a few blog posts in advance for future use, it saves time). Blog about your book, post excerpts, blog about what it is like to be a writer. There are so many options.

Use social media. I’m not sure whether social media like Twitter, Facebook and others really sell books but they definitely expose you to your niche if you use them wisely and they fill the internet with your message. Nikki Leigh, a social media expert (http://www.nikkileigh.com), has taught me so much about social media and about how to use them wisely and effectively. Her knowledge and expertise is priceless.

Get reviews. Many authors say that getting reviews is hard but it’s not as hard as it may seem. There are many keen readers that blog about books and are happy to review yours. Search the internet and also look for Amazon reviewers that review your genre. Most of them have a blog where you can contact them and ask them to read your book. Paid reviews are also an option, and not a bad one. Many people think that paid reviews are worthless, which is a common misconception. If you pay for a review it means that you will receive an honest review, it doesn’t mean that you will receive a positive review. It’s frustrating to pay for a review and then receive a bad one but that’s how it works. At least it creates a buzz around your book and makes people curious.

Get on the radio. I love Blog Talk Radio. There are so many wonderful hosts that interview authors and talk about books. When you see a show you like, contact the host and ask him/her to consider your book. You can also contact Kelly Wallace (http://www.authorautobahn.webs.com/), a wonderful lady who not only hosts her own show but also organizes radio show tours for authors. She will choose the right shows for you, contact the hosts and take care of the details. She also offers lots of free promotion opportunities and other services that are worth checking out.

Use Amazon.com to market your book. Amazon offers many opportunities for authors to get in front of their readers. Build your Author’s Page and blog, be active in discussions about your topic. Review books that are similar to yours. Be creative, Amazon is a great networking place for authors.

Organize a Virtual Book Tour or have it organized by those who really know how do to it. A VBT is a unique and very effective way to connect with your readers and generate sales. I work with Dorothy Thompson from Pump Up Your Book (http://www.pumpupyourbookpromotion.com) on my tour and I’m nothing but impressed. Dorothy is diligent, creative, helpful, she goes the extra mile. She understands authors, she understands books, she understands the market and she understands her job. Besides, she’s such a sweetheart and a wonderful friend.

Be reasonable about how much money you spend on book promotion. Start learning as much as you can about book marketing and soon you will find out that you can do many things yourself. This may save you thousands of dollars. Every author needs to invest into book marketing but it doesn’t mean you should use your life savings and end up broke. Set aside a budget and stick to it.

There are three important things I’ve learned about book promotion and I think every author should keep them in mind. One, don’t sell the book. Sell what your book can do for the reader. Two, be polite and never forget to thank those who have reviewed your book, hosted you on their blog or radio show. Make sure they know you appreciate their effort. And three, have fun with your book promotion. If you have written a good book, sooner or later it will find its way to readers.

Barbora Knobova is a writer, love coach and expert in Delicious Life. A world traveler, she is one of those rare world citizens who live everywhere and nowhere. Barbora is a firm believer in female friendship, loyalty and bonding. She writes hilarious, sharp-witted, caustically apt, ironic, moving, true books for strong, independent, smart, fearless women. Barbora has also written several self-improvement books and teaches women about the importance of self-love in relationships and life in general. Barbora speaks eight languages and has found her home away from home in New York, London and Milan. She is always on the move, accompanied by her beagle Brinkley, the nasty dog from her new book Tales for Delicious Girls.

http://www.barboraknobova.com

The Romantic vs. The Player: Things We Can Agree On

Though they may disagree on various matters of the heart, The Romantic and The Player are able to find other things they agree on when it comes to the opposite sex. Here are a few:

Safe Sex, Always

The Player: I don’t want an STD or a KID

The Romantic: Yeah, what he said.

Marriage Is…

The Romantic: A long ways away

The Player: A very long ways away

No Dinner on the First Date

The Romantic: I’m so much more creative than that.

The Player: So far, she has done nothing to deserve a free meal.

Women Are At The Club

The Player: On any given night, a man can find at least three or four to add to his roster.

The Romantic: On any given night, a man can meet the one true love to add to his life.

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman’s Scorn

The Romantic: Hurt a woman bad enough and she’s gone forever.

The Player: Hurt a woman bad enough and she’s gone forever, but not before she trashes your place.

Letter To My Next

I’m hoping my writing will be delivered with perfect timing
My Body clock says it’s a late storm
But I’m hoping you’re… ready to light me
Strike me
Like lightning
Little hater inside me knows I’m ready to fight me
Step outside me, brush aside me
Take residence and step against the not like me inside me
Let you set me on fire till I’m flashing brightly
Red Yellows Blues and Greens
Open my eyes to your ocean colour scene
So that I can read between the waves and motion
Wade in the water of devotion out from the sure
Find you and float in the real and the pure
I already know you’re demure, conscious and prized
I don’t have to throw lines for you to be caught by surprise
In the rule book of life we may have played on opposite sides of the law
Straight fly we know our flaws, know where the floor is
Love knows where the door is but only shows us the key
How you and I haven’t yet met when we’re meant to be?
All I wonder is how can we decide the main verse if we don’t even know the key
Life writes the interlude then the pre
Builds us through our history and creates our future
Establishes the true you
Defines a true me
Our lines have to cross and bind till you and I become a true we
I’m blind to you but I don’t stroll in the dark
We’re just two mammals making our way to the ark
I can’t say that we will be a walk in the park
Or a stroll on the promenade
Times may get hard but I know you are rich in value
We’ve got to value OUR values or there will be hitches
I want to bless and gain blessings through your riches
No name calling. No bastards, no bitches
Lets communicate and scratch itches
Hoping you and I don’t flee
Being hitched is what its made to be
I don’t say cracked because your love mendeth me
I am softer than concrete you are my rose
The rhythm pattern in my flows
You are more precious than ivory,
I’m tall but you heighten me
You are the nightlight and the sunrise
The words of the songbird my heart is talking through
Blood sweat and tears I’ll pour for you
See laborious minds make for victorious times
The moment we step on love
We just stepped on our time
Our landmines
Lets explode together
Touch the sky as we hold the clouds
Have our eyes look up not down
Dry eyes in the midst of a frown
Already a queen already crowned
Yet I want you to have my jewel, my seal
Hold you like shore is held by the sea
Surround you like an orange is its peel
You will be the only temptress to which I yield
True love only exposes
I bring more than a ring of roses
A heart that you can’t dispose of
The strength to strengthen you all over
To be with you I’ll be luckier than the Irish in a field of clover
Intoxicated yet sober
From Timbuktu to the white cliffs of Dover everyone will know the worst kept secret
Richly in love we are meant to be that
Athletic millionaire I may not be that
Subject of my art you can’t just be that
A mere portrait to expose this poets trait you can’t just be that
You are the doctrine
I believe that
A heavenly blessing I know I’ll see that
The real love in me you unleash that
Coffee and sugar we can be that
Cos we need each other can’t you see that?
Unstoppable force meets the immovable object
To me I hope you don’t object as we court
Play ball and enjoy the heat
Love never needs to beat, compare or compete
As long as we have love, friends and family
Faith, harmony in the sanctity of matrimony
No games geared towards getting paid via alimony
Baby and then a divorce
I’m in this for life even if times we stray off course
See life is life but on judgment day when I give that account for all
I want God and all of heaven to know
I was proud on earth to have been
Yours faithfully

Spontaneous Intimacy- Her Perspective

I love spontaneity. I love intimacy. Combining the two makes me a very happy woman.  We’ve had some adventures this week, not all of them have been sexual, but they have been adventures nonetheless. Wonderful adventures.

As we texted throughout the day as we often do, he mentioned a possibility for us to have some alone time in the evening. It wouldn’t be an ideal setting, as it often is not, but this just doesn’t matter. I jumped at the opportunity. These days, it feels like alone time for us is so infrequent that having the chance for twice in one week, well, a girl doesn’t say no to that.

I brought along toys and lube, but while driving there had the idea for a “cock only” day. He would only be allowed to use his cock to arouse me. No hands. No mouth. This would not limit me in any way and it would also give me more time with that beautiful cock!

We started with our new favorite position with me sitting on the counter. He wanted to use his mouth, but I had reminded him of the “cock only” rule today. I let him cheat with his fingers for just a moment when he first undressed me and we were standing and kissing. He made me come once while I sat on the counter, but although I love this position, my legs were still sore from about an hour in this position the other night and I had not ridden that cock in far too long.

I asked him if I could get on top. He said “sure, how did I want him?”, I told him to lie on the floor and he put his arms above his head while I mounted him. It really had been a long time since I had sat on his cock and it felt wonderful to grind my wet pussy against him. He always talks dirty when I’m on top.

As much as he likes to be in control, there is something he likes about me riding him. He always says things like “use my cock”, “fuck my cock”, “get yourself off”, etc. For this sweet, kind, and “good” man, this seems to be the time when he lets loose verbally. He says he is my fuck toy and I think he feels most like this when I’m on top fucking him.

I was having one of those long, non-ending orgasms. It continued to grow in intensity and length as I rode him and moaned. Soon he said he was going to cum and I urged him to do so, and his release once again increased the intensity of my orgasm as we came together.

I slid off him and laid my head on his chest as we caught our breath and came back into reality. We continued to lay on the floor as we chatted and talked about the day.  The intimacy that exists between us is such that this floor in this room was not at all romantic, but yet, I could have laid there for forever in his arms.

Healthy and Disrespectful

I’d never call Nahright entirely objective but they certainly don’t roar, piss, bitch and moan as much as us. Nonetheless, sometimes truly enjoyable–and judgmental–gems can be found in the little concise captions below their frequent posts. Earlier today, they posted a song with Rihanna and Kardinall Offishall, big deal. But, below the post, was a little quip: “Seriously, how disrespectful is this t-shirt?” and there was a link to a Twit-pic of the t-shirt above(excuse the crap quality).

Think what you want about the act of producing the above shirt, but don’t try and refuse that every dude who saw those pics wasn’t thinking the same thing that the Mighty Healthy crew was. Heck, whenever I see she-who-made-the-sale-of-umbrellas-skyrocket, my wet toes still tingle. Disrespectful or not, maybe Mighty Healthy just had the courage to say what we all felt.

Victim to Survivor

it may just be me but i have an issue with women who leave a dangerous domestic violent situation to continue years after still saying ..YES I WAS A VICTIM OF domestic violence …. words can be an empowering tool especially for women who had there s…oul and identity taken from them …. you must realise it takes a very brave women to pack up and run from an abuser .. once you leave and never go back you are no longer a victim ladies … YOU ARE A SURVIVOR .. you are strong even thou you dont feel it … you are brave to leave a man who often tell you he will kill you ….. your life was kidnapped and you ran … you lived it … ladies .. your not a victim .. YOUR A BRAVE SURVIVOR ….. ITS TIME OUR THINKING BEGAN TO CHANGE TO OR WE WILL ALWASY BE THE VICTIMS ….

My Neighbor

I lived with my older brother in a flat in Bangalore when I was 21. The building had many south Indian people. My neighbor was Mrs. Verges, She must have been around 35.. 135 cm and about 65 kgs with a small stomach. You know the kind you get after you have kids. She was from Kerala. Through the walls I always hear yelling between her husband and their kids. I couldn’t make out what was being said but I knew he was an ass hole. Mrs. Verges always wore a housecoat. You know the kind that was white with flowers and buttoned up the front. One day I came home and she was carrying groceries, she looked like she was having trouble so I offered my assistance and took one of them and helped her into her flat. I put the bag on the kitchen table and while she took off her coat, she asked me if I was busy.
When I said no, she asked me to stay for a while. I agreed and she told me to go have a seat on the couch. I went into the living room and sat down. At that point every sexual feeling about her shot back into my head, every time I looked at her perky tits, every time I looked at her ass, every time I imagined her lips and tongue on my cock. It all came back at that moment. My heart started racing, the pounding of my heart was so loud that I am sure that she could have heard it if she was sitting next to me. My palms starting sweating and my hands started shaking I knew at this moment I wanted her. When she came into the room she was wearing her housecoat, it was yellow and white and with flowers. Her legs were slightly exposed and her nipples were almost visible through the material. We started talking about general things like the weather in Bangalore changing with population growth and then the conversation moved toward her relationship with her husband. She told me that he often yelled at her and I told her that I could hear it through the wall. She looked at me for a second and at that moment we established trust. We talked for a little while longer and during our conversation she said that she hardly had sex anymore. I looked at her in surprise and she just laughed. I was looking around the room to hide my embarrassment and while I was looking away she asked me why my hand was shaking. I said I was nervous, she looked at me and she asked why. I paused for what felt like eternity, and admitted that it was her. I blushed and looked down and my left leg as shaking. I then said “I am sorry if I embarrassed you Mrs. Verges”. She said call me Maria. I said “Maria”, looking into her eyes. I think I should go, and before she could answer I stood up and went toward the door, when I got there I turned around and she was still sitting on the couch looking at me with this confused look on her face.
At that moment I knew that this was going to be one of those moments in your life, one of those moments that you know are going to be remembered forever, and shape the kind of person you are going to be. I turned around and gathered all of my courage and said, “I want you”. She didn’t say anything, she just smiled. I walked back to the couch and sat next to her. I raised my hand and ran it through her hair. She closed her eyes and bent her neck back. I leaned in and kissed her neck. I dragged my tongue over the area that I was kissing. I could feel her start to breathe heavier. I felt her hand on my chest, and felt the sensation as she lowered it to my cock, she initially rubbed but then she started squeezing through my pants. I then raised my lips to hers and placed a soft kissed on her lips, tasting the sweetness of her lips. Our tongues touched and she closed her mouth and grabbed my tongue with her lips and then started moving her head back and forth like she was giving my tongue head. I started to laugh, which made her laugh. The hand that was in my lap unbuttoned my pants and pulled my zipper down, I stood up and pulled my pants down to my ankles. My cock is about 7 inches when erect, she looked at it and then looked at me and then smiled. I thought to my self “thank god”. When I sat back down she grabbed by cock as I leaned back on the couch. She started jerking me up and down, the feeling was incredible. While she was jerking me with one hand she grabbed my balls with the other. I then looked into her eyes and smiled. I took my hand and put it up to her tits. I grabbed the top of her housecoat and with one pull I opened her coat to her lap. I spread the sides of the material and I saw the amazing 38 D tits. Very perky with the longest nipples. Maybe an inch long. I leaned in and took a nipple into my mouth. She said that the last person who sucked her nipples was her baby, a few years ago. I could not get over the size of her nipple so I stayed there for a while, using my tongue on her nipples. She then grabbed the back of my head and pulled my hair and leaned in and took my cock in her mouth. I could feel her lips and then her tongue on bottom of my cock. The feeling was incredible, I raised my hips up she closed her mouth and sucked really hard, and sucked really hard. I thought I was going to cum right then and there. I pulled her lips off my cock, and laid her down on the couch, I pulled her housecoat off and saw very hairy pussy, dark black curls that showed a little pink showing through.
I noticed that the hairline went up to her belly button, and I laughed to myself. I brought my mouth to her pussy, it didn’t smell at all I was a bit surprised. I made circles with my tongue around her clit, but I kept getting hair in my mouth. She said that her husband doesn’t lick her pussy any more, so I kept on licking so she could really enjoy it. I took my right index finger and ran it around her pussy getting it wet. I then took it and rubbed it up against her ass. She jumped and said that she never did that before. I stopped what I was doing and move my body up. I jerked my cock a few times to make sure I was good and hard. I placed it at her pussy lips and rubbed it up and down. She started nodding her head and then said that she wanted me. I easier my cock through her thick hair and I was surprised how wet she was. She was really tight for a woman her age. I slowly eased my way in. I was half way in and when she said how good it felt and she wanted to feel all of me in her. I pushed all the way up to my balls. She said that she has never felt something so deep in her. I laid down on her and her pointy nipples pushed into my chest. I started moving my hips back and forth. Her pussy was gripping me the whole time; the wetness just made it feel all the better. She rapped her arms around me and started raising her hips to meet my cock as it pushed into her. I told her I was going to cum. I said that I have never cum inside a woman before. She then told me to cum in her. I asked her again if it was all right she said yes. I increased my pace and she told me if I could keep it going for a little longer we could cum together. I slowed my pace down and knelt my head down to her nipple. I started sucking and I think that put her over the edge. She said that she was going to cum. I started pumping really quick and told her I was going to cum. She told me she was too. I came in a big rush. It was one of my biggest loads. When I came, she started to moan, “OH your cum is inside me, oh My god… poppy.. poppy, your cum is inside me,” her eyes rolled back into her head, and her pussy contracted on my dick. It was the most incredible feeling. Her hips flew up in the air she screamed Si’ si’ si. I was still pumping and my cum was all over my dick. I pulled out of her and sat up. She then leaned up and took my cum soaked dick back into her mouth. I could feel her sucking all of the cum off my dick. She cleaned my dick off and laid her head in my lap. She looked at me and said that I was really good. I leaned my head back in disbelief of what just happened. She then stood up and said that I should go before her husband got home. I agreed… A few weeks had passed and I would see her around but she wouldn’t talk to me. She said that she enjoyed herself that day, but she thought that it shouldn’t happen again. One day, I was going up the stairs in my flat when I saw her coming down. She said “hello”, like nothing ever happened. I was a little pissed off, so I waited for an opportunity to say something. I noticed the housecoat that she was wearing that day. I said, “I remember that.” She didn’t look at me but I could see that she smiled. I walked over to her and said, “that was what you were wearing that day”. She didn’t say anything. She just nodded her head. . I then said, “I miss being inside you.” She said she did to but she was afraid that her husband would find out. I then said, “if we are careful no one will find out.” I then walked toward the door, I turned around and she was looking at me, she just smiled. One of those seductive types… . Two days later, I was looking out my peephole at 8:30, just waiting for her husband to leave. When I saw him, I opened my door and walked to hers. I knocked on her door. She opened it and said what you are doing here. I said in a formal tone. ”Mrs. Verges, do you have change for a twenty, (to throw off any suspicion)”. She said “sure, wait a minute,” she closed the door but didn’t lock it. I pushed the door open and said “hello.” She looked at me and said that we can’t do this now, her husband was going to be right back and her kids were sleeping in the next room. I said laughingly. I will be quick, she looked down. I went to her, put my hand under her chin and lifted it up. I leaned in and kissed her. Her tongue was dancing in my mouth, making circles with mine. Twirling and twirling. I then felt her hand on my butt, squeezing. I stopped kissing her, I just looked into her eyes. I brought my hands to her shirt and started unbuttoning it. I slowly saw her dark Latin skin tone. She was wearing a white bra, I undid the clip in the front and I saw those great nipples. I used my thumb and index finger on each nipple. I was rolling the back and forth. I then pulled them a little. She said, “that feels sooo good.
I then let her nipples go and grabbed her hips. I pulled her towards me and I started rubbing my cock against her right through my paints. She said “I don’t know what it is about you but you make me so wet. I asked her if she was wet right now. She just nodded. I then unbuttoned her jeans, and pulled them down to her ankles. I saw her panties. They were black not very sexy, but her thick black hair was sticking through the sides. I pulled her panties down. I then dragged my hand from her ankle up her leg, on the inside of her thigh, on her pussy, up her stomach to her mouth. She then took my finger in her mouth, what an amazing feeling. The wetness of her mouth and that indescribable feeling of her tongue. I leaned in and said, ” I am going to shake you naked and eat you alive” (I once heard that in a movie). She just laughed and said that we have to be quick, because of her husband. I then took her by the shoulders and moved her down to my dick. She took it into her mouth and just held it there, just twirling and twirling. She still didn’t move but she sucked really hard. I said, “you are so good at that.” I then raised her back up to me. I gave her a small kiss. I then turned her around, bent her over and put my fingers in her pussy. It was so wet. I moved in closer, and put my cock in her. She let out this, this “ahhhhh” sound that was almost as good as the feeling on my dick. I stretched out my body leaning back to handle the sensation. I let out a long breath, and started pumping. Her wet pussy was amazing, her pussy was just tight enough to grip my cock, but loose enough to allow for quickness. I grabbed the back of her hair and pulled her up. She let out this ahhh sound and then said “fuckkk me” (just like I spelled it heavy emphasis on the k). I started pumping really fast. She then told me to hurry up because of her husband. I then said, “I can’t… your pussy feels to good.” I then stopped pumping, she turned her head and said what’s wrong. I said to her I know how to get off really quick. I took my cock out of her pussy, I took my left hand on her wet pussy, and rubbed the wetness on her ass. I put a finger in and felt this unbelievable feeling. I was rubbing my cock and slightly pushing my finger in her tight ass. She was really serious for a second and then she laughed with me.
I then told her to cum with me, she said ..”ohh yeess Kamdev.., you cum in me my love..” in a playful tone. So I got down on my knees and inched my way into her wet cunt. I turned her around and eased my cock into her ass. The head went in easy, I took my hand on her pussy again to get it wet. I then rubbed it on the part of my cock that was still outside. I then pushed the rest of the way in. She looked at me, she didn’t say a word, and she just opened her mouth and closed her eyes and moaned… ”Yesss” I couldn’t stand …how tight it was and I just came. I was still pumping and the cum started dripping out. I was still pumping and the cum and her ass just felt great. I finally pulled out. She laid down and I laid down on top of her. I then said I think that was better than our first time. She just nodded. “Oh my God”, was all I heard.. .

Why a straight guy fantasizes about being a wife

I’m as straight as an arrow, and if you know your physics, you know an arrow wobbles around a bit, even as it stays on course. But I have this recurring sexual fantasy where I wake up as a woman, not just a woman, but a married woman, and her, well, now my, husband is sleeping curled up behind me with his morning woody poking me.

He’s half asleep, I’m half asleep, our bodies go with it, and next thing you know he’s pounding me from behind, grabbing my big, mature tits, and I’m loving it. We do all the positions, I crave his cock in my mouth and eventually I take a shower with him fucking me one more time before I rinse his cum out of me.  Then I dress in a lacey bra and clothes that show the world I’m a woman, and head off into the day to live her life.

Now, why would a straight guy fantasize about that?

First off, I love sex. I mean, everyone loves sex, right? But if you take my idea that humans make God by creating things together, sex is that ultimate spiritual connection of bodies and souls.  And I love the idea of getting lost in someone else’s body and soul.

I’m a nice guy, I respect women, and I never (okay, rarely) push a woman past her comfort zone.  But if I was the woman then I could do whatever I, as a guy, would want her to do.  As a guy, I’d never suck another guy’s dick (okay, once), but as a woman, I could kneel down in front of him and submit to my weakness and his strength.  I could surrender to him completely and be free of the baggage I carry as a guy.

I think the part of my fantasy where I’m a married woman is because I want to be taken care of, I want to be cherished and protected. But as a guy, I can only go so far down that path. I’m over six feet tall, pretty athletic, and white.  I own my own company and negotiate deals with corporations and the government.

I can’t take care of the house, make myself pretty and greet my lover at the door with sex — it’s not the path I chose, and even if I had, it’s not a role fully available to a man. I hate effeminate stay-at-home dads — if you’re a man, you can’t push down your masculine needs all the time. I like being the aggressor, the decider, the strong one. I hate it when people don’t listen to me, and expect my words to carry more weight than others. Tall white guy syndrome, I know, but I can’t help it.

But sometimes, I’d just like to know how it feels to be so entirely dependant on someone else, and give myself so completely as only a wife can do for her husband.

Wednesday 14th October 2009

 

 

 

WEDNESDAY 14th OCTOBER

 

 

I’m not sure whether to be delighted or slightly embarrassed – I now have over 4000 ‘friends’ on Facebook. I also, somehow, have managed to gather over 2500 people in the DJ Wanker Appreciation Society.

There was no popping of a champagne cork. It’s all very vacuous stuff really although quite nice that people have taken the effort to add me or accept me.

I don’t feel important in any way – and neither should I – as it’s just internet nonsense.

*****

How many of these 4000 would consider me enough of a friend to invite me round for Christmas Dinner? I would say probably 10.

How many of these would come to my funeral and be sad I’ve passed on? Possibly 20.

That’s how you gauge your proper friends.

*****

Other news from Facebook… I was this week invited to join a group called:’We need a cash machine in Woodside.’ I didn’t join on the grounds that Woodside needs a lot more important things than a cash machine to improve it.

Like a better quality of houses and people.

*****

Okay, I’m being rude about the place again. No serious offence intended. It’s just an easy target and I’m rarely going to pass up the opportunity of shooting fish in a barrel.

There’s another group on Facebook called: ‘I hate Woodside, Telford.’ On the wall, Maria Foster wrote: “It’s a shit hole and needs a big bomb.” Jasmin Turner said: “I live on Woodside and it’s a shit place to live.” Warren Teece, the group creator, added: “It’s full of gossiping, backstabbing idiots who have nothing better to do than slag each other off.”

*****

Five other random groups I’ve spotted on Facebook this week:

* Find my mum a husband

* If  one million join this, I’ll get a tattoo of the Facebook logo

* Fuck this, I’m moving to Fraggle Rock

* The Bollocks Bar (Magalluf)

And my favourite of the lot, aimed at people who can’t dress themselves properly…

* Pull your fucking trousers up

*****

There would also appear to be a million groups on Facebook aiming their vitriol at two lads with crazy hair from the X Factor. Now I couldn’t care less about the programme, aside from maybe dipping in occasionally to see Simon Cowell be rude / refreshingly honest to people.

If these Irish twins are that hated, why did they get voted through to next week? It’s evil people like me voting to keep them in! I didn’t actually vote as I can find better uses for my money.

Other things I noticed from the show on Sunday:

1. Alexandra Burke, last year’s X Factor winner, could only MIME her performance.

2. Robbie Williams is not the entertainer he thinks he is… although I quite like his new single.

3. Louis Walsh didn’t turn up to judge – preferring to attend some impromptu Boyzone reunion in Majorca.

*****

I mentioned last week that I would be spinning the tunes on a Wednesday night at Bar Vox in Telford but that turned out to be just a one-off. You can still find me in the main room at Pussycats every Friday and Saturday – head to the gallery at  www.djwanker.com for my latest photos.

*****

Daniel Lee Benton wrote this regarding the blog last week: “I’m a fan of the politics update. I can’t say I agree with your take on Never Mind The Buzzcocks… but I’m happy its back on.”

And I’d also like to thank the fragrant, loveable flooze (and top Telford totty) Gemma Mansell who, on her Facebook page, has “Geoff’s Blog” written among her favourite quotations!

*****

I received some very sad news last weekend that Wayne Springer had died. He was just 44. Wayne was heavily involved in the club and bar scene in Leicester and I never met anyone who had a bad word to say about him. He was a gentle giant.

When I got my first full nightclub residency in Leicester in the late 1990s, the owner of the place used to terrify me but Wayne was the manager and always put me at ease. I worked with him on and off until about four years ago and he was always exactly the same – calm, reasoned, polite and unruffled.

My best mate Phil heard the news first and we chatted on the phone about how we both had such huge respect for this guy. Rest in Peace, big man.

*****

Lifted from an interview with Dougie from McFly in Heat magazine:

What was the last lie you told?

“I farted in bed and Frankie (from The Saturdays, his girlfriend) asked me if I had. I said it wasn’t me, it must be you.”

Quality. Why don’t women find farting as funny as men do?

*****

Stolen from the letters page of Viz magazine:

“So Sting is able to shag his wife for five hours without going off. I know how he feels. My wife is no oil painting either.”

*****

I don’t understand why a man would ever have a sex change. Yes, you could put up with having breast implants. Yes, you could put up with the pain of having your manhood chopped off and a ‘ladygarden’ dug in. But the really awful bit must be where they remove half the brain cells…

*****

I have invested in a sleek, new desktop PC at home and it’s bloody quick! I don’t know much about computers but it’s from the Dell Inspiron range and has… quad core processor (2.5ghz, 4mb cache), 640gb SATA hard drive… these are just words to me but Tom, my technical advisor in Leicester, reckons it’s money well spent.

Technology has moved on rather quickly since I was a kid. I had a ZX Spectrum+ as my first computer when I was about 13. This is what it looked like…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ZX_Spectrum%2B.jpg

Then we had an Amstrad word processor which I used to start writing my book in 1997. It was basic and looked like this…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Locoscript.png

*****

And finally… I couldn’t resist.

For Sale: One stool and microphone. In good condition. £95. Please contact Ronan or Keith.

 

 

Cheers for now,

Geoff / DJ Wanker

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